A long day ahead...

I was told yesterday, by my mother, that I was going to see my grandpa today. I love my gpa, but this is probably the hardest thing I have ever done. I mean, to go to grandpa's means that I have to think about gma, and to think about gma brings lots of sadness and tears. So, anyway, keep me in your thoughts today... I'm already crying just thinking about it, so this ought to be fun! 

Padre

Well spring break has officially started and mine is off to a great
start! A couple of friends and I decided Friday morning to go to South
Padre for a couple of days! As I type this I am laying all by myself
by the pool and loving it! We went out last night for dinner and a
little dancing... Needless to say it was interesting!!! We have a trip
to Mexico planned this afternoon, but may chicken out and just stay by
the pool! Anyway, I hope everyone has a great weekend...see you Monday!

Sent from my iPhone

Question of the day...

Can someone please tell me why it is that every morning when I go to take my shower I have to hunt down a clean towel first? I mean, when I get out of the shower I dry off and hang my towel back up to dry... so why isn't it there the next morning when I go to take my shower? Is there some type of towel fairy that comes every night to take my used towel... like the tooth fairy? Hmmm... 

On a completely unrelated note, I have 50 students at CJC that I teach. This week was informative speech week... of the 50 students I heard 22 speeches... isn't that exciting? SLACKERS!

Question...

Ok, so I have a church question... and since I know most of my readers from church, hopefully someone will put in their two cents....

I went to a new church on Sunday.... I really enjoyed the music and the sermon... but there were some things that I haven't really decided about yet. I will go back a few times before I judge, but I just wanted to know what ya'll think...

The church had a prayer time, much like the garden of prayer that Southern Hills did when we attended there. The only difference was that it was men and women (no problem there for me).... but the preacher's wife was anointing people and praying over them and then she approached a mother on the front row and asked if she could pray over the woman's children. Ummmm... what was she doing??? I mean, I have always gone to conservative Southern Baptist or Church of Christ congregations... so I just have never seen this before.... not sure what to think. In addition to this, there was much discussion about being healed. Not sure how I feel about that either. I mean, I would like to believe that God works much like he did in biblical days and there are people who have the ability to call upon God's power to heal... but what do ya'll think?

Anyway, I'm not one to judge... just not sure what to think... and really not sure what to tell Megs about it, because she went with me! So... two cents anyone?

Catching Up...

I swear, I have more posts with the title of 'Catching Up' or 'Update'... I need to get more creative! Anyway...

The last few weeks have been quite the challenge... my lack of posting was not for a lack of desire to post or even for lack of content, but instead, was from lack of freedom to post. You'll understand more in a minute...

Robert and I have decided to separate and begin the process of divorcing. It has been a little over two years since our first separation and it seems that we are right back to where we started two years ago... well, not exactly... less drama... but the same emotionally. The plan right now is for him to move into an apartment as soon as our income tax return comes in and we will share the children much like we did last time.

I have really struggled with posting this information, not because I don't want anyone to know, but instead because of the "helping words of advice" that people offer so freely. Since the decision was originally made, I have had my mental stability, my faith and salvation, my ability as a mother, and my sobriety questioned. Some of those questions came from my own mother. All that said, I appreciate your concern... I appreciate your prayers... but please know that we are not doing this lightly.

Our decision may seem like an impulsive decision to those who don't talk to me daily, but for those who have been in my house at all in the last 6 months, you know that this is what has to happen right now. Robert and I cannot live together in peace and harmony... we do not love each other the way a husband and wife should... nor do we respect each other. Since the decision was made to separate, we both feel like a huge weight has been lifted from our shoulders and are each excited (for our own reasons) about what the future holds.

Insomnia

It is 4am, and I have been awake since 2am. I didn't even try to sleep until midnight. I have been laying in bed staring at the sleeing for a while... I have counted sheep... I have done relaxation exercises... nothing is working. Honestly, the last night I can remember getting more than 4 hours sleep was a couple of weeks ago, and I wasn't even in my own home. Any magical solutions would be much appreciated... I'm not sure how much longer I can survive on so little sleep!

Busy, busy, busy

Sorry for the absence... I'm turning into one of those people that I used to pick on all the time for not being consistent in their blogs. The semester is in full swing now, and life is a little crazy. Who knew that between kids and school, life could be sooo busy! Oh well, I love it! I did take a weekend for myself and go see a friend over the weekend that I have known since I was 12... it was amazing and I think I will have to make that trip more frequently! Ok, off to teach another class... I will try to post a more lengthy blog later...

Productivity...

When the semester started, I swore I was going to be more productive. I was going to limit the time doing the 'extras' that I find so enjoyable on the computer and really focus on getting work done... well... it hasn't exactly happened! There are several reasons why and I can justify every single one of them, but it doesn't change that I'm not being nearly as productive as I thought I was going to be... oh well... surely catching up with long, lost friends on facebook is just as important as reading my text books...right??? Besides, I've taught 4 semesters out of the book... I've got it down... snicker, snicker!!!! Anyway, how many of you are sticking to your resolutions???

Regrets...

I have spent the last couple of days thinking about regrets. Can you pinpoint one decision that changed the rest of your life? Did you know immediately it was the wrong decision, or did it take a few years to figure it out? I made a decision, when I was 16 years old, that I regretted almost immediately, but as quickly as I figured out what I had done wrong, the opportunity to correct the decision was lost. Eventually, the pain associated with the decision lessened, but I don't think it ever really went away and I always wondered what could've been. Two days ago, I was reminded in a very big way that decisions we make when we are 16 can forever change the course of your life... and as I have watched my students over the last couple of days I want to stand on my desk and tell them to think before they act, because if I could undo that decision I would... In fact, I would give just about anything to reverse my actions, but it is impossible and the damage may never be reversed. I am hopeful, although it probably doesn't sound like it, that I am wrong... that things can begin anew after 16 years... the the wrong can be made right... but I will just have to keep you posted on that! Good night my friends... I hope that everyone finds their weekend to be restful... and their dreams to be answered!

Students

I signed on to teach an 8am class at CJC this semester...I'm not sure
what I was thinking! They say it gets easier, but I'm not convinced!
I'm definetly feeling for the people who do the real world hours
everyday! I'm going to need a nap after my 1pm class!

Sent from my iPhone

First Day of Classes...

Today is the first day of classes for the Spring semester! WOoHoo! One of the things that I love about teaching college is that I get to start over every semester! These new students don't know anything about me, so I could totally recreate myself! (Wait... they only know what their friends have told them...) Anyway, I'm too lazy to recreate myself each semester, but it did get me to wishing I could call 'do over' in real life! I mean, I have my moments, we all do, where I have done something insensitive and hurt someone I care about, or done something that I know is going to haunt me later in ways that I couldn't have guessed! I am struggling right now with the loss of a friendship. We both screwed up, but for me the loss is always a little bit harder because of my upbringing. I wish I had a 'do over' but that would erase my stupid actions over the last semester and make things all better! But... there are no 'do overs' and I will learn from my actions and move on... but it still sucks!

BTW, this grown up time schedule thing is killing me! It is noon and I want a nap so bad I can't stand it!

Funerals...

I am going to a funeral this morning that I don't really want to go to... not because I don't love the person who passed away, but because the grief from my gma's death is still fresh and this woman was my gma's best friend for many years. For those of you who live in Abilene, you have probably seen footage of the wreckage from the accident earlier this week. My Great Aunt Joyce was driving and her mother, Grandma Reed, was sitting in the passenger seat. Aunt Joyce pulled out in front of oncoming traffic that she couldn't see and Grandma Reed was killed instantly. Joyce is at Harris Hospital in Ft Worth with a broken nose, broken ribs, a huge gash above her eye and is recovering physically... however, emotionally she is not doing so great. In her eyes, she killed her mother! The rest of the family has assured her that it was Gma Reed's time to go, but Joyce is struggling. Please keep that family and mine in your prayers today as we struggle through this service. Aunt Bev is singing in the funeral and I can only imagine how difficult that will be... I don't think I could've sang at my gma's funeral! Thanks for the prayers...

Hi!

Sorry for my repeated absences... it has been an interesting break but nothing I thought ya'll would want read about! =)

We celebrated the New Year by 'going dancing'... which is my favorite late night activity but not my husband's. I'm sure we will reach a point where he will tell me we can't go anymore... but I hope not because I would probably just find a substitute! (JK...) ANyway, I had a blast and saw tons of people that I have grown up with! The only uncomfortable part of the evening was the clothing that people choose to wear... I wanted to take them aside and tell them that their outfits were neither appropriate or attractive! I bit my tongue though!

After the dancing we came home and played Rock Band until 2am and watched a movie til 4am...I think I'm toooooo old to stay up that late, because I was a big ole grouch when my kids came home at 10am! blah!

Anyway, I hope everyone has had a great first 6 days of the year, I'll post more later!

Merry Christmas...

Ah... I made it through Christmas and even got all of my shopping done! (I tried to post a pic off of facebook... its not working!) The shopping was easy since it was only a flat screen tv and a wii (and rock band, wii fit, and some other games)! It was the atmosphere that was difficult! Over the last few years, my grandmother had gotten to the point that she didn't 'believe' in all the hoopla of Christmas, so the hoopla wasn't effected by her being gone... just the atmosphere and the conversation! I ended up in a back room looking at pictures of times gone by! (I plan on going back over there tomorrow and scanning them into the computer before my uncles hi-jack em, so I'll post some later this week!) It helped to remember the good times with Grandma!

On a lighter note... if you have a wii and don't have rock band, you are seriously missing out! We got it for the kids, but Robert and I play on it waaayyy more than they do! I think the kids would like it better if it were Rock Band Disney... or Rock Band High School Musical! Maybe I'll suggest that! haha!

Anyway, I hope you all had a great holiday... I'm off to shop for an anniversary gift for my hubs... We have been married 13 years today! Who would've thought...

Update, Update, Update...

1. I still have a job! No changes for me or anyone else as far as I know!
2. My tonsils looked like gold balls on Sunday... got a shot Monday... the left one hasn't gone down at all... can you say tonsillectomy?
3. My niece Alyssa spent the last few days with us... holy cow I am tired! Special needs children require a lot... and sleep for the care giver seems to be optional!
4. Robert just bought Kali a 22 rifle... pink of course for her birthday! I'm guessing she is going to like it more than the DS she is getting!
5. I haven't bought any presents at all and it's how long til Christmas????

2 days...

This time last year I was told that instead of being full-time I would be 3/4 time at MCM. All that really meant was that I would have one less class to teach and about 8000$ less a year. According to our contracts, they have to tell us before the end of the semester (which is tomorrow, I guess) if anything is going to change! So... be praying I don't get the dreaded phone call asking me to come into the office! My stomach hurts just thinking about it! UGH!

Most Wonderful Time of the Semester....

As I typed my title, I was seriously singing! You know... its the most wonderful time of the year... it's the hap-happiest time of the year!

This week is final exam week! Yippee! Although I am sad to be saying goodbye to my students (well, some of them), I am ready to post the grades and be done. By ready, I only mean psychologically and emotionally, as I have stacks and stacks of grades to post!

The problem with these stacks and stacks of grading to post is that I am sitting in my house, in my pj's, about to read a book (can you guess which one?) and am not planning on going into the office! Hmmmmm....... grading make take longer than I thought!

Addiction...

Hi! My name is Jessica and I have an addiction... It all started quite innocently with a reading of the book before I went to see the movie...

And then I bought book 2... And book three...

And book four...

I read all of the books (and half of the next one online) in a matter of 5 days! I did not clean, cook, or even supervise my children much (mind you, they are pretty self-sufficient). What's worse is that I even passed my addiction on to several of my friends! (Sorry Katie!) I have gone to see the movie twice and am planning on a third trip tonight! I think I have a problem my friends... hahaha!

Ok, I'm only partially kidding... although my husband might disagree... I am a huge fan of this series... it takes little brain cells to read, and makes for a nice escape from reality........