Makes you think...

I found this song on my friend Liz's blog, it is hysterical... in a sad sorta way! Go take a listen! I couldn't figure out how to embed it here...

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=797870

Ugh!!!!!!!!

So... the flu bug that has been making it's way through town has hit our house... Robert came home from class last night with a 103 temp! I guess his meds wore off in the middle of the night because at that point he began to shake uncontrollably. His temp this morning was 104. I had to come teach, so I left Megan home to take care of him (and to call 911 should his fever keep rising). She's had a sore throat and a lot of drainage... so I figured he could take them both in when he goes to the dr this morning.... besides, she had a flu shot... I never got one! Kali was a little irked that I made her go to school. (The little devil that sits on my shoulder said I should leave them both home with Daddy, so he could see what it feels like to be sick while the kids bicker and fight... but I flicked the devil off of my shoulder and took Kali to school!) He's not a good patient, so keep us all in your prayers! :)

Whatcha think???

I just couldn't take it anymore... I had to do some changing! Every time I open my friend Shelley's blog she has something new and different... so I did a little searching and found this free template online. It had a really ugly bright orange link to the site I got it from and I impressed myself with figuring out how to delete it! Now... if only I could figure out how to make my own cool templates! Oh well...

Life is good this week! I went to a seminar at a church in town on Saturday with my friend Amy. It was AMAZING! The speaker was Dana Mayhall, whom I have known since high school... she has had many jobs in Abilene including leading my youth drama/choir production my sophomore year in high school. Anyway, she spoke on empowerment... she said many things that touched me, but my favorite part was when she discussed the facades that we all put on... and how those inhibit our ability to serve the Lord. Now, I'm not much into facades as I am pretty certain that I can only be who I can be and I frankly, don't have enough energy or brain power to be anything other than I am. BUT... I do struggle in a BIG WAY with my self-esteem. I'm sure I could link it back to one of the many childhood things that happened, but I'm not in the mood to dwell right now and I have laid all of that at the foot of the cross because I can do nothing about things that happened 25 yrs ago... what I will say is that I am probably one of the most insecure people that I have ever met. I worry constantly about whether or not people like me... I worry about offending or leaving people out... I even worry that no one loves me when I don't get comments on my blog... Now, I can look logically at the situation and see that I have friends and people who love me... but it doesn't take away those insecurities and questions. Anyway, all of that to say that although I wouldn't call any of that a facade, it is in a certain way and it gets in the way of my relationship with the Lord just like pretending to be the perfect wife and mother would do. So... I laid that on the cross and am going to work on praising myself instead of assuming the negative. I can't describe the emotion in that room as women prayed for healing etc, but it was amazing! We want to have her at our church... I'll let you know when that happens!

The other thing that really stuck with me from Dana was her theory of raising hands in church. I've never been one to raise my hands in church... I don't have beliefs against it... I just haven't felt comfortable to do it. Dana is definitely a hand raiser... and here's why... think of a little kid whose father has just come home from work... what do they do??? They raise their hands to their father, arms stretched wide, wanting to be held. When Dana raises her hands during worship she is much like this child... only she is saying Lord I worship You! I want to be close to You! You are my heart's desire! Bless me! Etc. etc.! Anyway, I'm not telling anyone how to worship... I just thought this was interesting... I still couldn't really get my hands above my shoulders Sunday... guess there is work to be done... haha!

Video... Wow!

Oh my... it is amazing what you get in your email sometimes and how much you really need to read it or hear it. This video is 11 min long, but well worth it for anyone struggling with why things happen the way they do!

Here's the link if they hyperlink doesn't work!

http://www.nooma.com/Shopping/ProductDetails.aspx?ProductID=270&PMID=25&mode=FLV

Is it too much to ask???

I just watched the weather... is it too much to ask for a snow day tomorrow??? Or at least a late start??? I am EXHAUSTED and could use a morning of not leaving my house at 7:20~!

Here's hoping!

Responsibility missed him...

Read no further if you are not in the mood to listen to a rant!

My mom called to tell me that baby Makenzie has the same syndrome (whose name I do not know) that baby Alyssa has.

Here's where my rant begins... what in the crap were my brother and his girlfriend thinking???? When Alyssa was born and the genetic testing showed that there was a defect in Ashley's chromosomes why did no one go get fixed???? I get that they were doing the safe thing and taking the pill... obviously no one was in class the day they talked about how birth control is not always effective... but would you really just leave it at that if the dr's said you had this issue????? So now, my little brother (who is on his 4th kid by his 3rd girl) is living with his girlfriend, her 5 yr old son, and their two special needs kids... oh and I can't forget the kid that is his that he has on the weekends! To top it off... they don't even have a vehicle that will hold all of the children and Ashley refuses to drive a mini-van because they aren't cool. Well, I'm sorry but didn't you give up the right to be cool when you had 3 kids by the age of 20????

Obviously I would never say any of this to either of them, because that would be unkind... but seriously, when are they going to wake up???? My little brother has always been irresponsible and self-centered and I guess I'm just annoyed that he is still being this way.

Keep them in your prayers... my Sunday school teacher said that sometimes things like this happen in a persons' life as a means to bring them back to the Lord. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that... because at this point it looks like He will have to heap a bunch more on them to get them into church... and I'm not sure how much more my parents can handle of the heaping!

MLK Day...

I'm pretty sure I work for the only institution in town that is having class today... and being that I am such a great teacher I gave my own students a walk (I mean online assignment), but the education class that I am taking is still meeting. I have four hours to get dressed and make my way into town... I wonder if that will happen!

Kali has had a loose tooth for a few weeks and no matter what I did she would not try to pull it out. Well, last night, on the way to bed she ran into the wall (she is sooo my child) and out pops her tooth. She had that panicked sort-of cry.... you know, I'm not sure if I hurt but their is blood gushing from my mouth... and came running into the living room screaming about her tooth. I'm not a fan of gushing blood so I did the good mommy thing sent her to her dad and pushed it out of my mind... until this morning when she got out of bed and asked where her tooth was... OOPS! I'm still not sure where the tooth was, but Rt put money in his coat pocket and took the coat to her... he told her that the tooth had been in his pocket so to check in there... and wow... there was a $2 bill in the pocket! That amazing tooth fairy can find a tooth anywhere, apparently!

One last thing before I forget... I am having a pampered chef party on Friday night... this is my open invitation to all who might want to come... if you live to far away but are interested here is my consultant's website... check it out! Just so you know, the January special is 20% off of stones and since I have broken my two favorite stones in the last few months it is time for a party!

Bored, bored, bored...

So... I think I have reached my limit of being stuck in the house! I have tried to venture out, but my limit of being out seems to be about 2 hrs. I always forget that the worst part of surgery is how your body feels when it is all said and done... I mean, my nose isn't so bad it's the overall icky feeling that I can't seem to make go away! Oh well... I just need to give it time and I will feel better. It has been nice watching the family do all the chores though! I have to go back to teaching on Tuesday, so let's hope I have it together by then!

My little brother and his gf had their baby... MaKenzie Leigh. She was born on Wednesday. I have no clue about all of the particulars due to my own surgery, but she is currently in the NICU at Abilene Regional. She had a seizure and low blood sugar and wasn't breathing right. Today I heard that she is eating on her own but that they have found a heart mumur and it looks like she will be there for a few more days running tests. One of her eyes is teardropped shaped, like Alyssas and they are wondering what other similarities they are! Just keep the family in your prayers... I'm not sure Ashley can handle two special needs kids, a 3 yr old and a 5 yr old.

Aftermath...

I'm alive! I got home about two yesterday and haven't moved much from my little corner of the couch except to potty! My mom hung out with me all afternoon and even made me some potato soup. My friend Amy made me some chicken and dumplings for dinner and my hubs and kids were great at fetching last night. Robert even got up and cooked me breakfast at 6am this morning (cuz I was huuunnngggrrryyy)! I went to the dr this morning and I will save you all the gory details of that trip, but I will say I didn't know it was possible to shove all that packing up in that tiny hole! ANyway, I can already tell a difference with my breathing and other than being tired (from the lack of sleep last night) all is good! Praise God!!!!! Anyway, hope you have a blessed day and I'm sure I'll be back later to post out of boredness!

The Fever is GONE!!!!!!!!!!

Kali's fever broke last night about 6:30... 3 hrs after paying the dr copay to be told it would pass in 2-4 days. Oh well, better to know in my opinion. Now... no one else can get sick! She is still laying on the couch in my office, though, because you must be fever free for 24 hrs before sending a child to school. I'm not a fan of that rule and I will be even less of a fan come 2 o'clock when she is bored to tears and driving me batty! She is currently watching Cinderella... and she is very mesmerized... isn't there a Cinderella II????

My surgery is tomorrow morning. I'm not so worried about the actually surgery... more dreading the aftermath. I have gotten so many different after surgery reports from people, so I'm unsure what to expect. Some say it was wonderful, some say it was not so wonderful. I'm shooting for the I feel wonderful and I can breathe again feeling, but I guess we will see, huh??? The one question I forgot to ask.. when do I get to drive again????

I read an article on MSN this morning about self-esteem and daughters... the article said that children are having lower self-esteem at an earlier age. I didn't read the entire 6 pgs, but a good portion of it discussed how mom's feel about themselves and the things we say about our own bodies and how that leaves an impression on our kids. A little scary since I just started Weight Watchers! I know that for health reasons I need to lose weight, and I have made that clear to my entire family, but how do I balance that for my girls. I mean, I am just fine with who I am and what size I am... I mean, my self-esteem issues have nothing to do with being over-weight (frankly, my opinion in this is that if you can't like me fat I don't want to be your friend when I'm skinny) but I have lots of friends who worry about their weight and seem to be always on a diet. There have been many times that Megan has had to sit there and listen to a person who was a size 6-8 complain about their weight and I just wanted to bop them. And every time she hears one of those conversations I see her face fall because she knows she is overweight. Which I guess is the real issue... Megan is about 20 pounds overweight... her friends at school weight 80 pounds... Megan weighs 123. (She is 5'1" though, so I expect her to weigh more than the girls around her.) This is very frustrating for her and she wells up with tears anytime we say something (and by say something, we point out healthy choices, we don't tell her she is overweight)... which we do very carefully because the result is usually a puddle of tears. It also doesn't help things that Kali weights 57 pounds now (down 3 from 2 weeks ago)! Anyway, the article didn't address how you help your child be healthy without damaging their self-esteem... and I think it needed to. We are a society that is worried about what we were, what our hair looks like, and what we weigh... this is what we are passing on to our girls. There is nothing wrong with being healthy... but to obsess over it like some of the people I see around me is not ok...

Ok.. I'll get off my soapbox now... the article just frustrated me!

The start of a new semester...

So... today was the first day of classes and although I was planning on getting out of bed at 6am to get ready I did not actually get up until 6:50! OOPS! Then I get out of the shower to find Kali and Robert still in bed. Kali had a valid excuse... a headache, stomachache, and a fever... Robert had no excuse, however! Anyway, seeing as how it was the first day of classes Kali had to get dressed and go lay on the couch in my office. She still has a fever and tonight it was 103.5 when I got home from class. I can't really figure out what is wrong with her either... she hasn't thrown up, she doesn't have excessive snot... hmmm... to go to the dr or not???? I hate not knowing what is wrong and would rather just take her in and be told it is a virus than sit around wondering how long she'll be sick!

Other than that things went well today. I am taking a couple of education classes so that I can get my certificate, so that was a little weird... to sit in a class with people I used to teach! The hilarious part of it all is that my teacher was my 6th grade English teacher! It ought to be interesting!

We had a blast at the wedding this weekend! The reception was awesome... apparently the thing to do in East Texas is to have a 'party barn' and that is where the reception was... someone's huge horse barn. It was set up beautifully and there was a dance floor... I spent most of the evening trying to convince my hubs that he needs to build me a barn like that! Honey Brown played and we danced and it was great. We did have to make a run to the store for drinks as the only drinks at the reception were beer, wine, and water... I'm not sure what they thought the kids were going to drink, but whatever... it worked out! I'll load some pics when I find my camera! I do think the dogs missed us more than the kids...

So far this year...

So much for my plans of the year... haha! I have done great on the Weight Watchers (which I'll get to in a minute), but the quiet time is hard to do when there is no actual quiet yet in my life. Yesterday, on the way to school, Meg's pulls our her 365 devotions for Tweens and starts doing her thing in the 20 min drive to school. I couldn't help but think that if I had someone to drive me around I would have more time to study His word!

I signed up for Weight Watchers again... I was basically signing up for 3/4 of my family as we could all loose a little! I am slightly irritated that my dear husband gets 41 stinkin' points a day. I really think that is oh so not fair... I mean, he will loose weight more quickly just because he is a man... so why on top of that does he get more food???? Oh well... when I informed him that his daily bag of chips habit had to go if he was going to succeed in losing his 20 or so pounds he looked a little depressed, so I guess we will see how well he sticks to the program!

My surgery is scheduled for the 17th for all those who are wondering. We are leaving town this weekend and I couldn't handle giving up a weekend without my own kids to get it done tomorrow! (I say without my own kids because we are going to help our friends take care of their twins during their brother's wedding that the entire rest of the family is in. We love the twins and Honey Browne is playing the reception so it wasn't too difficult to persuade us to ditch our own kids!) Anyway, I will be out of commission for at least 5 days after the surgery, so I'm sure my students will be excited that they won't have class!

Have a blessed day!

Plans for the year...

I have read a couple of posts that talk about goals for the year as opposed to resolutions. I think I like the word plans... you see, if I make a plan and it doesn't happen the way I want it to I can say plans changed. If I make a goal and don't achieve it I feel a bit like a loser! ha!

Here are my many plans for the year...

1. I plan to continue to grow my relationship with Christ. I have a tendency to get distracted during the day and I don't make it to the quiet time that I plan to do. If I do it at night I fall asleep, and I can never seem to get up in the morning. So... I have carved out a time during the day (while sitting in my office) that I will work on this... besides, I don't actually work in my office!

2. Lose weight... I know, I know, everyone has this goal, but I really am tired of being this size... not to mention some of the health problems that I know would be better if I lost a few pounds. So... I have drug out the Weight Watchers stuff and will be at the 10:30 meeting tomorrow! Robert and I are going to Mexico in May with some friends and I would like to at least be back into a 12 before we go... maybe I should glue a swimsuit to the front of the fridge! (See, reasonable goals here... I could say a size 2, but since I've NEVER been a size 2 I think I'll just be realistic!)

Ok... this is really where my plans stop. I have lots of ideas of things I would like to do... but these are the two I will 100% commit to!

And Shelley, these next pics are just for you... I made sure to use my home laptop so I could post a few pics! :)

Happy New Year!

I sooo forgot to wish everyone a happy new year! So... Happy New Year!

Conversations in the Wheeler household...

Do you have conversations like this in your house??? (Oh, and while they were hilarious when they happened they don't seem to have the same zing... sorry... but I think you'll get the point!)

#1. Me: I have a deviated septum and will have to have surgery next week to fix it... Megan: So, your gonna get a nose job like Ashley Tisdale... that's what she said and her nose is all different now. Me: No, they aren't going to do anything to the outside of my nose. Kali: well, I think you should let them make it smaller... (is this her way of saying I have a big nose???)

#2 This conversation needs some background info... My little brother lives with is gf and has 3 babies by 2 women and marriage doesn't seem to be in his future... Kali at dinner tonight: Did you know you can have sex without being married? Me: Well, that's true but that is not God's plan and life is wayyyy harder if you do things in the wrong order. Megan: There was a 5th grader who was prego at my last school...ewwwww Robert: Kids don't need to have kids Me: God made sex for a husband and wife and within that bond sex is not a bad thing, in fact God meant it to be fun RT: WOOOO HOOOO.... at this point my children turned beet red and proceeded to leave the room! I can only imagine what they will be thinking when they go to bed tonight.

#3 Kali fell off of her bike at ACU this afternoon and hurt her arm. On the way home Robert was trying to console her and tried to tell her why it was good it was one arm and they could put a sling on it at home. Kali: But I use this arm to play on the compt Robert: (who has a busted lip) well, I like to kiss mommy with both of my lips and I have a busted lip so how do you think I feel? Kali: You can put a sling on your face...

I just noticed that all the funny comments seem to come from Kali. She does keep us quite entertained but it is usually because she is saying things that leave me speechless....

I'm not CRAzY!!!

I went to see the ENT today and I am officially NOT CRAZY! I have a deviated septum and sinus cavities that are completely packed with the yucky stuff! You ask why I celebrate so... well, it is because I have had chronic sinus crap for 6 mths and my family dr treats me like I'm over exaggerating or something every time that I go in. I think he just didn't think it was as bad as I thought it was... shows him what he knows! The ENT couldn't even look up one side of my nose because my septum was pushed over so far. I will be having surgery next week or the week after... I'm not overly joyed about surgery, but I'll deal with it just to be able to breathe again!

My crazy life...

It has been a while since I posted... Sorry! It is always more difficult to find time to post when I am off of work... I try to sit on the couch and post, but it's not the same as sitting in my office in the quiet!

I'll try to catch you up on the happenings of our lives!

I have reached a certain level of peace regarding my future at the University. I don't know what God's plan is, but I know He has one and will let me in on it when I need to know... you just don't know how much I hate that! It took me a while to get to that point and but it did help that last Sunday at church my preacher made several points that applied to my life while staring at me! I'm not sure if it is good or bad that my preacher knows what is happening in my life and what I struggle with, but what he had to say does make a lot of sense.

One of the reasons that I have reached a certain peace with my changes at work is that I am being pulled in other directions pretty strongly. I have been pestering my husband for over a year about having another child. I can't exactly have one myself due to the fact that my tubes have been cut, burned, and tied and although my dear Kali thinks I should just buy new tubes that isn't exactly possible. Not to mention that fact that I'm not the best pregnant person... I don't like the lack of control I have over my body (nausea, vomiting, peeing when you sneeze, laugh, cough) so I end up being rather whiny and annoying. So... over Chicken Express a couple of days ago we narrowed down our options. We will continue to pray about it, but we are thinking about becoming foster parents. I need to check into all the guidelines, but so far it looks like a real possibility and if I am working less I would have more time for the stuff that has to be done for the kiddos. I'll keep you posted!

Christmas was at our house this year due to my mom's foot surgery. It was quite difficult to get everyone together due to my little brother and all of his children and in the end we were missing his current gf's kid. But, it did turn out well and everyone seemed to have a good time. Robert was off Christmas Eve, so that was an added bonus. He got to help with the house cleaning and even pitched in with the pie baking. I love that his mother (no matter how crazy she is) taught the boy to move around the kitchen. Some of our pies looked a little retarded, but they tasted just fine. [For those who don't know me you should know that this is the first time in my life that I have EVER baked a pumpkin or pecan pie... I don't cook nor do I know how to cook most things!] All the cooking with my hubs made me look forward to the day when he finishes school and has time off at the same times I do! Too bad he can't quit his current job and go crazy taking classes... instead we have 108 more hours to go... which looks like it will take 7 more semesters!

We did do something new this Christmas... because everyone left early Christmas Day we decided to go to the movies. We took the girls to see the new National Treasure movie... I recommend it to everyone. It was awesome... no sex, no language, and not that scary! We couldn't have chosen a better movie to watch! Both girls enjoyed it and no one fell asleep!

Ok, I think that catches everyone up! I have lots of stuff on my mind, but I'm not sure where to begin and the kids are busy bickering over the other compt behind me... so I best go break it up...

What do you do?

I had a funny thought just now as I was cleaning my office and rearranging furniture... every time my world begins to spin out of control I clean my office and rearrange furniture. Why is this? Then I started to think back to the day before my job... my solution then was to shop... I think cleaning my office might be the more responsible way to handle stress. On some level, cleaning my office and rearranging furniture is me controlling my life in the only way I know how... I mean, there is so much happening right now that is puzzling... the one thing I can control is where my desk is in my office. What do you do when your world is spinning around you???

You might be wondering what has thrown me into such a cleaning freenzy... I had a meeting with my dean and the VP yesterday. For the 08-09 school year I am being dropped down to 3/4 time. I will still have benefits, but it will be a $8000 pay cut. They seemed so excited when they told me that the other person that I work with would be 3/4 time as well, but they don't seem to realize how this affects my life. I don't really care that the 65 yr old woman that I work with who retired from the public schools will still have a job... I care about the fact that a pay cut of 800$ a month will financially damage my family. In fact, about the time that all of this will take place is about the time my loans will come due, so instead of being 800$ short a month we will be about 1600$ short a month. I care about the fact that this decision brings into question what will happen the next year... should RT even continue school??? I mean, he'd have 60 hrs and then I wouldn't have a job if all goes as it seems it is going to. So many questions...

Anyway, on top of the house issue (see below) and the questions I have there I now get to add this to my list. I seriously would like one year where there were no freakin' complications. Is that too much to ask? I know that God has a plan... I really do... and I know that everything happens for a reason, but as I sit here in my office crying once again I can't seem to figure out what it is. Is this God's way of telling me to get out of the education field? I mean, it has truly been an uphill battle, so maybe it isn't where I'm supposed to be. Who knows? Anyway, pray for my family as we try to figure this out!

Update...

Sorry, no fancy title. The guy didn't show up Tuesday night. I called his number to check if I had the time wrong and his wife is in the hospital. He said he would call back later this week, but I don't know that he will. The most difficult part of this process is that I was perfectly fine with living out in the boonies still, until he contacted us. Then I let myself consider what living in town would mean and how it would affect our entire lives. That sounds dramatic, but living 25 min from work, church, and Target does not make life convenient. I mean, if we moved to town our gas bill would go down about 400$ a month. We already have a house that would work out wonderfully and it is 2 blocks from church, 3 blocks from my work, and 4 blocks from the kids school. Do you know how much more sleep I could get if I live that close to everything we do??? Not to mention if you live 2 blocks from church you can't use oversleeping as an excuse not to go, unlike living 25 min away. Then there is the friend thing... my kids don't exactly have neighbors to play with... it would be nice to be able to say 'go play outside with the kids.' Or even go ride your bikes, and the kids not be able to say 'but we live on a dirt road.' (Oh, and I know you can ride on a dirt road, but you should see the rocks, even I wouldn't brave it!)

The funny thing about all of this is that it seemed like him coming and wanting our house and us moving to this other house was the PERFECT plan. I mean, I can think of 100 reasons why it would benefit everyone involved. I look at it and it all seemed to fit and there was a peace about it, like this is how it should be... AND THEN... it didn't happen. I'm not questioning God, I know things happen in His time and that He has a plan, it is just sort of puzzling. It makes me wonder what is yet to come... like if this wasn't the plan then what is the plan???? Does that make any sense?

Blessed...

Yesterday, while we were gone to church, our house tried to burn itself down! Well, I know a house can't choose to burn down, but somehow the stove cut on (the knobs are in the front so someone probably bumped them and we just didn't see it) and caught the stone and spatula that were sitting on top on fire! I assume the entire house was filled with smoke because there is a layer of black ash on every surface of the house.



Here's a pic of the cabinet above the stove. Pretty, huh??? The next pic is of my white curtains in the living room. You can't really tell in the pic how bad it was, but if you look closely you can see the soot on the ceiling too!

We are having a clean up party today after school (if anyone feels sorry for me and wants to come help, feel free) and the carpet people are coming in the morning! We really have to rush to clean it up because a guy is supposed to come out tomorrow night to see about buying the place. He seems quite promising as he has been leaving us notes for a couple of weeks trying to catch us (he left them on the front door, which is not the door we use to come in the house). He told RT yesterday that he can't find a house anywhere within his range and ours seems to fit perfectly. Keep your fingers crossed that we can get the mess cleaned up and the house smelling pretty so that he will buy it.

We cleaned up a little last night, and I kept trying to remind my husband that we were very, very lucky that our house didn't burn down and that we truly are blessed! (I'm not sure he was convinced since he was cleaning instead of studying for his Algebra final!) My other happy thought was that since I haven't started Christmas shopping yet, there are no presents that have to be rewrapped or a tree that has to be cleaned! See... I knew there was a reason I hadn't started shopping yet!

Edit: My friends are truly awesome. Holly, Emily, Betty, and my mom all came out to help me clean up yesterday. It took about 3 hrs so I can only imagine how long it would've taken if they hadn't been here! I am blessed to have such great people in my life that are willing to drop everything to come help me clean up my messes (not just talking about the house now). I am currently sitting on the couch watching the carpet cleaners scrub away on the nasty carpets. It is amazing to me how much cleaner the professionals can get the carpet. Keep praying that the guy who is coming to look at the house tonight is so impressed that he writes me a check on the spot! :) With Robert in school and the price of gas, it would be so nice to have the opportunity to move back into town. I'm trying not to get our hopes up... but it's soooo hard! Anyway, thanks again to the people who helped me clean (my mom even ironed my curtains)! It means a lot to me!