Ok...so here's the deal! I am working on a second M.A. this one in English. In my Adv. Comp. class I am doing a research paper over the definition of mother and how we as a society are influenced by the media. So...here is what I ask from you my blog readers...What is a Mom? Has your personal definition been influenced by the world around us? Etc. Etc. Really, so far the first four pages of my paper have turned into a rant about how difficult it is to do all the things a mother is expected to do. My next step will be to talk about the issues between stay-at-home moms and the working mothers and finally I will discuss the medias influence. I have 4pgs on my definition...only 21 more to go!
Thanks for your help...and I promise to post my paper when it's all said and done so you can see you wonderful posts cited in my paper! If you don't want the world to see your post you can send it to the email on my blog!
--Jessica
4 comments:
My definition and how the world has affected it? What is a mom? Hmmmm...well, it's more than giving birth, that's for sure! But I think society has tweaked the role into something superhuman that no person could actually accomplish. We are so caught up in keeping up with everyone else that we forget the simple, basic things that a child needs to become healthy, happy and productive. We think our children should be geniuses, involved in as many extracurricular activities as possible and be the center of the family. And then mom should have everything she wants and be able to do it all. But I think we've gone wrong in that line of thinking, and thus begins the breakdown of the family. I think I'm just rambling. I don't think I made any sense :-)
Seriously, I didn't think the media had anything to do with the way I see myself as a mom, but I recently apologized to my husband b/c his undies and undershirts are no longer stark white, they're a dull cream color from being washed with the filthy socks. His reply, "What does it matter? You're the only one that sees them." My reply, "But Clorox says that I'm not doing it right if your whites aren't white!" Absolutely my definition has been influenced by the world around me -- and more so when my kids were younger and I was more unsure of myself as a mother. I soaked up any information I could from magazines, news, etc.
And it depends on which media we're referring to. Television sitcoms, etc., typically show mom as a complete moron, oblivious to the actions of her children, as well as unable to control the other parental idiot, dad.
And, I agree with Supermom that the news and advertising media try to convince us that mom does it ALL while maintaining perfect skin, a size 4 body, and spotless carpets.
Interesting thoughts -- I may throw this out on my blog, too -- out of laziness since I am NOT the perfect energetic mother!
I've had a hard time coming to grips with the role of Mommy. In college, I decided not to even get married, but then I went off to Hong Kong for a semester, and met the guy who talked me into it. Six months after the wedding I was pregnant with twins, and had to get used to motherhood QUICKLY.
So far being a mom has meant sacrifice. I haven't gone after my MA yet. I haven't worked, except for a six-month job as a teacher in a private school, while I was pregnant with my fourth child. I don't get out much, unless you count trips to Walmart with the kids. I haven't written more than a few short fiction pieces. I still live in the U.S. I can't even go to the quilting classes I'd like to take.
But I don't miss it. Sometimes I wonder whether I'm lacking something, or whether I should press my husband for more free time, but it's just in my head. At the core, I'm content. The girls are reading well at four years old, and I was the one who taught them. They're best friends with each other and their little brother. And baby Naiah is my clone and therefore genetically irresistable! :)
The most joyful thing about being a mom, I've found, is knowing that I know that I know that I'm exactly where I am meant to be.
Feminism and the media seek to make women think that there is something wrong with that-- that you can't be complete without a life outside the family, but they're wrong. I have everything I need for this season in my life, which will be over in a moment. Someday I'll go back to school, and maybe teach on a collegiate level, and live overseas again, but not now. I'm really happy with that.
My definition of mom is completely influenced by the women in my life. m .my Momma, my Granny, my friends and family. That being said, the media could have influenced them and thereby, influenced me, but I don't feel I'm directly influenced.
So what is my definition of "mom." Actually. . .I still call my own mom "Momma" and that's a large part of my definition. A momma is someone with whom you are comfortable, someone with whom you feel safe.
I once saw a definition of "mom" from a child. It said, "A mom is a whole lot of nice with a little bit of mean." Sounds like I winner of a definition to me.
A mom is someone who plays with your hair and scratches your back, buys your favorite cereal, knows what to give you or say to you even before you ask for it or know you need it yourself.
A mom is a smell--mine smelled like Gloria Vanderbilt perfume--my daughter tells me I have a smell. I know I do, because she will walk up to me and bury her face in me and take a big, deep whif and say, "Mommy, you smell." Which sounds like an insult. . .but she means I smell like Mommy.
A mom is someone who loses her temper when all of the pots and pans fall out of the cabinet. My son once walked into the kitchen during a metal avalanche and wisely exclaimed, "Yikes! I'm gettin' outta here," as he scurried away.
A mom will stay up way too late at night making a dress, or a skirt, or wrapping presents, or doing things that she knows will make you happy.
A mom is someone who will search through an entire bin of Hotwheels cars just to find the perfect one for her boy.
A mom is someone who sees the face of their baby in the face of their sleeping child, or teenage, or adult child.
A mom is someone who comes in to check on you in the middle of the night just to make sure you are covered up.
A mom is someone who makes up silly songs with your name in them and remembers to sing them to you.
A mom is someone who is moved to tears by the thought of you.
A mom is someone who is not always perfect, doesn't always keep the house clean, doesn't always sign your school work on time, doesn't always eat right or set the best example or answer your every beck and call. . .but tries the best she can.
A mom is someone who is loved and chosen by God to help her little ones along their path to Him.
Roxanne
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