My Family...

Ever been walking along and have one of those moments where everything makes sense? Happened for me tonight during our walk at the park.... actually happened while I took the picture that you see...

My little brother posted that he celebrated his birthday yesterday at a local restaurant with his 'family' and it broke my heart. You see, I wasn't invited to the birthday celebration. This isn't the first time since I left my ex husband that I haven't been invited to family get-togethers and it definitely won't be the last. BUT my 'ah ha' moment, during our walk, was this...

THE PEOPLE IN THE PICTURE ARE MY FAMILY!

I need to worry less about activities and invitations with the family that has made it clear they don't want anything to do with me & worry more about creating traditions with my husband and my daughters. You see, those parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins that want nothing to do with me, because I left an abusive marriage, aren't worth crying over. It is simply time to move on.

So this is me... moving on...

I want to matter..

Have you ever just wanted to matter enough to the people around you that they take action & make changes? Maybe it's selfish of me, but I'd REALLY like to matter enough to my family for them to do the things I ask!

I mean, my children know it causes me stress for them to live like pigs or to fight with each other, and yet each and every day I waste my words telling them to stop fighting and asking them to pick up after themselves!

I have asked my husband to quit smoking & yet each & everyday he runs to buy cigarettes. I get it...I really do...it's an addiction. The person has to WANT to quit. BUT..if I mattered enough, wouldn't he be able to quit?

My parents haven't spoken to me in 6 months. Wouldn't it be nice if they at least TRIED to have a relationship with their only daughter, instead of my ex husband & his new gf?

Sigh...I just want to matter enough...is that too much to ask?

(This blog is brought to you by an over abundance of female hormones in my house (Yeah for PMS!) and a sincere feeling of helplessness about the happenings around me!)


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