Thursday, March 30, 2006

The Friendly Frontier?

Last year when the city of Abilene decided to change their slogan to "The Friendly Frontier" I just kind-of laughed and wondered who came up with that idea. Well...now I am downright irritated by it. Has anyone been to Wal-Mart or K-Mart lately....nothing friendly about those people! Have you tried to buy parts for a car at the store where apparently only men are supposed to shop...nothing friendly there either. I eat out almost daily...most encounters at sit-down restaurants are merely ok...nothing spectacular. Fast food is even worse...I often find myself wanting to tell the person behind the counter they should try to smile and at least pretend they like their job. I understand that people have bad days and that it isn''t always easy to be nice to people...especially those of us with difficult orders like "plain and dry" on all my burgers! BUT...don't try to call us the Friendly Frontier if we can't show it by our actions. Who knows...maybe the people who thought up the slogan decided that if they labeled us as friendly we would slowly start to act that way!

Ok...so that is my rant for the day! I will say that the guy named Steve at the WM on this side of town was the only redeeming factor for the store when I went on Sunday! He actually smiled at me and helped me put my groceries in my cart!

--Jessica

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

I QUIT!

For the last few weeks, my mantra has been "I quit...I don't want to do this anymore." Last night at Wal-Mart I saw a shirt that said "I don't want to do this anymore!" and I almost bought it. But it was missing the most important part. It is different to say you don't want to do something anymore...that means you probably still will, you just would rather not. When you throw the "I Quit" phrase into the mix it changes the meaning. By adding "I Quit" you are telling those around you that you are done with whatever the task might be. There are several things in my life that I would like to quit right now...but unfortunately for me, most of them I cannot. I can't quit my jobs...I need the money. I can't quit my English classes...they may be the difference between me working and not working next fall. I can't quit being a mother...because no one else would do the job and I would feel guilty if someone else screwed up my kids. I can't quit being a wife...although I have tried to quit this job several times in the last month for some odd reason my husband doesn't like that idea. I can't quit going to church...not because I think my salvation is hingent on being in church but because I need the accountability to stay on the right road.

So...that begs the question...What can I quit? Well, here is the list I came up with:
Shopping: not likely, but it could happen
Eating: I could stand to lose a few pounds
Sleeping: eventually you body will quit asking for it right?
Talking on the phone: again, not likely to happen
Hmmm...that is all I can think of...any ideas?

--Jessica

Monday, March 27, 2006

Friendships

There is a poem that I often receive in my inbox that discusses the reasons that friends come into our lives. They can be placed there by God to satisfy a need, or to help you share, care, and grow. They can stay in your life for a lifetime or just pass through. I do not generally have a difficult time making friends...in fact, I have a tendency to collect them everywhere I go. The part that I have difficulty with is the letting go and saying goodbye. It doesn't seem to matter if the friendship is toxic or if the other party is ready to move on...I will fight for my friendships as long as possible. Today, I had what I'd like to call an "ah ha moment" followed by an "oh crap" moment. As I read the poem again I realized that many of the people I fret over...that I continue to call and invite to things or call to check on, are people that I need to let go of because their purpose has passed...in theory...thus the "ah ha moment". Now, here is the "oh crap" moment...how do you decide who those people are? How do you know that it is time to let a friend go vs. a time to really latch onto a friendship and show the person you care? I can think of people in my life who would fall into both of these categories...and the only reason I can answer that question now is because a large amount of time has passed. So, what are you supposed to do when you are in the heat of the moment? How do you decide who to let go and who to keep?

For those friends who have stuck it out through all my issues (and oh, how I have issues) ....THANK YOU! Thank you for being there when I need a shoulder to cry on...Thank you for being the ones who won't just tell me what I want to hear but instead take the time to tell me what I need to hear (even when I don't want to hear it)...Thank you for being there when I have to pick up the shattered pieces of my life. Ya'll are the best...and you know who you are!

--Jessica

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Desperate Housewives

I am unashamedly a Desperate Housewives fan. I watch the show without fail every Sunday night. I know, I know, I can just hear the preacher telling me what an inappropriate show it is! Nevertheless, I watch it and on tonight's show, Lynette hires a woman to work in her firm who is breast feeding her child...not a big deal but the child was like 5 yrs old...EWWWW! In the end the child chooses chocolate milk over mother's milk...what five-year-old wouldn't make that choice! The mom became an emotional wreck...and the reason for this wasn't that her baby was growing up...it was because she was going to have to join a gym and work out in order to burn all those extra calories the breastfeeding had been covering. Now, maybe I am wrong, but I breastfed my youngest and I don't remember any weightloss benefits, just extra hunger pains! Maybe there is some secret I need to know about...I could always have another kid to test the theory! I am always willing to try the newest weightloss craze...do you think this one will catch on?

--Jessica

Choices

Life is about choices. Do I choose to get out of bed and go to church or do I choose to get some much needed sleep? Do I choose to do laundry and clean the house or do I choose to lay on my couch all day whining because I feel like crap? Do I choose to start on my 25pg research paper that is due in about 3 weeks or do I choose to once again put it off and then spend the week stressed out about the amount of schoolwork I have to do? I have noticed a common thread with most of my choices, though, I may choose to not tackle some of these things now but no one else is going to do them...so, either way I will eventually have to make the choice! I cannot begin to tell you how very depressing that thought is! I have a solution to all of this...I can quit school, pack my stuff, and move to Mexico where I can sit on the beach drinking pina coladas all the day long. I am not sure how I will pay for that lifestyle but it sounds very tempting at this point! Anyone wanna come with?

--Jessica

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Full Circle

For those of you who know me, you know that music is the thing that brings me the greatest joy. My love of music began when I was young and was nurtured by my grandmother. Grandma would play songs on her piano and we would sing at the top of our lungs. When I was about 5, I told Grandma that she needed to be quiet so that I could sing by myself! My earliest memory of church going is sitting on the front pew while Grandma played the piano for the church...we were singing "Go Tell it on the Mountain" and the only part of the song I really knew was the chorus. So, I would mumble through the verses but as soon as we got to the chorus I would stand up tall and sing at the top of my lungs! I am sure that I sang like most small children...slightly off key...but I just remember the joy I felt at praising the Lord in song.

Tonight at choir practice I found out that I will be singing a duet in the Easter program with one of the guys. I am very excited about it. Not only because I love to sing and I am honored that our director would allow me to sing this particular song...but also because I feel that I have come full circle in some ways. The last time I sang in church was Easter Sunday, 1994. I was 18 yrs old and so unfaithful to my Lord. I had gone out with friends the night before, gotten tanked, and barely made it to church. I got up on the stage to sing and for the first time in my life knew that I would be singing the song alone. Not alone as in no other person with me...I mean alone as in the presence of the Lord was not there. I felt the aloneness that one who turns their back on the Lord feels...and it was miserable. The opportunity to sing again in church, to praise the Lord with the gift that He gave me, leaves me with a feeling I cannot describe. I am nervous because it has been so long and there will be a lot of people there...but I am elated because I know that this is God's will...and this is God's way of saying it is time.

The song that Mark and I are singing is titled "A Love That Will Not Let Me Go." I screw up daily as a Christian and the one thing that gets me through some days is the knowledge that no matter what my Lord loves me and He is holding me. I also know that He is not going to let me go. So...this song is very appropriate for where I am in my life. Isn't funny how the Lord works?

--Jessica

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

The joys of Raising Girls!

Today was school picture day! Most people would think Yippee...I on the otherhand was not so excited. What it meant for me was getting up 30 min early to make Megan shower...then get dressed in clothes too nice to wear to school...and then fix her hair....all so that in a few weeks I can buy pictures that are not so wonderful just because they are her school pictures. FUN FUN! Out of my pain and misery, though, I have a story from each kid that have made me giggle all day!

As I was blow drying Megan's hair this morning, she started to cry...for no obvious reason. I asked if I had pulled her hair...she said no. I asked why she was crying she said "I don't know"...and began to wail! I dried her tears and told her it was ok and we went on with the hair fixing. As I began to tuck her hair behind her ears...and show her how to frame her face so that it looks the most flattering, she began to wail again. I again asked what was wrong and she yelled at me "I don't like my ears!" What? She is eight years old! What is wrong with her ears? I never could get an answer out of her, but I am concerned that she is a little young to be worried about what her ears look like when her hair is tucked behind them!

After I got Megan deposited onto the schoolbus (with her hair tucked behind her "ugly" ears)...I went home to get Kali ready. I gave her a bath and blow dryed her hair...which she informed me was ok because very straight hair was very pretty....Did I mention she is FIVE? I got her dressed, turned on Dora, told her to find her shoes and hopped into the shower myself. After I got out of the shower she came walking into my bathroom with one hand covering her mouth and one holding her shoes. I asked what was up...if she needed a kleenex for her snotty nose...and she looked at me with eyes that said "I am up to something!" I pulled her hand down and there, smeered on her little lips was the brightest shade of pink I had ever seen! I held it together...I didn't yell...I simply got some toilet paper and wiped her lips clean...while trying not to laugh. She didn't even give me a chance to lecture her...I was wiping and she was swearing it wouldn't happen again. Here is my question, though, how did she think she was going to make it out the door, to the car, and into pre-k without me noticing her bright pink lips?

Oh...the joys of parenting!

--Jessica

Monday, March 20, 2006

Discouraged Perfectionist

I found it! I found the label that fits me exactly! I am a "discouraged perfectionist". What is a discouraged perfectionist? Well, in our Bible Study on parenting last night we spent time covering a book about birth order. In the book, they suggest that 'only children' and 'oldest children' will likely fall into the trap of "discouraged perfectionist" because they realize that they aren't perfect...which isn't acceptable to them...and so instead of not being perfect they just won't try. The book suggested that the discouraged perfectionist would live in a mess, have a life that was unorganized, appear to be flaky, and wait until the last possible second to do work. All of that is me. I found it rather refreshing to have a name to put with my issues!

Don't be discouraged, though, not all 'only children' and 'oldest children' fall into this trap....just the ones with overbearing, control freak mothers! Examples of things this mother might do...the child makes the bed...the mom says it looks great...and then smoothes the covers. This is telling the child that indeed all is not great and so the child then begins to question why they should bother trying if it will not be good enough anyway. I feel that way with my house...why bother trying...I can't get it all done...I can't get even part of it done like I want before someone messes it up!

I know that much of what I read in parenting books is someone's theory and that I need to take it all with a grain of salt...but, I feel that this idea actually has a bit of truth in it. I don't believe every first born child will end up this way...but I do think that as parents, if we ride our children and tell them with our actions that are not enough it will follow them throughout their lives. The same concept works with friends and even husbands. The difference is that as an adult I can choose not to be friends with people who constantly put me down and I could choose to not be married...but a child has no options. They can't leave. Instead they must endure and the end result is oftentimes a "discouraged perfectionist."

On a lighter note, my dog Boots is in heat (which, by the way, makes me happy she is an outside dog)...and when I looked outside a little bit ago there was the cutest white male dog hanging around. I drove around and asked the neighbors whose dog it was...amazingly no one fessed up to ownership...but when I was talking to this cute old man down the street he said the white dog was really sweet and often hung around their house but it wasn't theirs (????)...and that Boots was probably already prego! I looked at him and smiled and said "well, she's black, he's white...they ought to have some cute babies!" He looked at me and giggled...how often do you hear a grown man giggle?...and then said "Maybe they'll be pok-a-dotted." Gotta love a man with a sense of humor!

--Jessica

Sunday, March 19, 2006

It's Raining...It's Pooring...The Owls are Flying!

It has rained all weekend! I really wish it would stop...shhhh, don't tell anyone I said that! Abilene is once again behind in our rainfall total so everyone is town is praising the rain. Everyone except me! I would love it if it rained only at night and then absorbed into the ground before my children crawled out of bed. Instead, it has rained for three days and since we live in the country...on a dirt road...everywhere I look is muddy. Mud that my pets and my children want to touch and track into my house. EWWWW! Not to mention that normal tasks like getting into the car, going to Wal-Mart, or even going to church this morning were much more difficult because there was water everywhere. Oh well, this is Abilene and come the middle of summer when it is 100 degrees outside and I am whining that I would like rain...you can just remind me that I was the one who wanted it to stop raining!

On a lighter note, on the way home tonight...in the rain...in the dark...I noticed something coming towards my car. I couldn't make it out, at first, and then I realized that it was an owl and it was flying directly at my car. I hit the brakes and slowed down...and the owl barely missed me. Can you imagine how irritated I would have been if an owl had flown into my little red car? Not to mention, I really cannot afford another insurance claim. Then again, can the insurance company raise your rates if you file a claim because you were attacked by an owl?

--Jessica

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Working together...sort-of!


Robert and I spent 5 hrs working on the little red car today! We...and by we I mean HE...put on a water pump and a belt tensioner. I wanted to help but having grown up around men and their cars...I know when to stay out of the way! My job was mainly to keep the girls from burning down the shop. The girls colored and danced and eventually Robert created a game for them to play...throw the washers into a box...they loved it! I did get to help tighten some nuts in the end and that was fun! I told Robert that this could be our new hobby...we could buy cars and I could watch while he fixed them up...and then I could spend all of the profit we made after we sold the cars! He just laughed at me...which is great! I love that I can make him smile with my asinine ideas! We did get the car in mostly working order. There is definetly something wrong with it...but we may actually have to take it to a mechanic to get that figured out. I got to drive it out to my parent's house. They thought it was pretty but my mom is more than convinced that I do not need a little red sports car! WHAT DOES SHE KNOW???? (I wrote that with a huge smile by the way! My mom knows many things and I just hate when she is correct!)

Friday, March 17, 2006

Hmmm...

I was trying to decide what title I should pick for my blog entry today but I am stumped, because there are so many things I could write about.

I could've titled it "Finally...It's over" because today is the last day of spring break! THANK THE LORD! Not that I do not love my kids with all of my heart but....I have been home with them for 5 full days. 5 full days of whining, fighting, crying, etc. We have gone to the park twice, McD's twice, the movies, the drive-in, the zoo and we have had sleepovers. They have had a great week with lots of fun...but I am at my wits end. I have invested loads of time, money, and energy on them and yet somehow it has not been enough. When we went to McD's they wanted BK. When we went to the park....they wanted a different park. I know my friend Windy would say that this is because they are spoiled and I should've made them stay home...she is probably right about the spoiled part. I tend to give them way more than they need...and way more than they deserve. The best reward for their behavior this week would've been to make them stay home and clean my filthy house...but that would meant I was stuck at home as well and that is not something I like to do. I love to go skating with the kids and take them to the park and see movies. The best part of parenting is getting to have fun with my kids. To have stayed home this week would have been a punishment for me too....and it is MY spring break too!

The second title I came up with was "Sleep...who needs it?" because this week has not included much sleep for me. Between going out with my friends, meeting my dad for breakfast at the butt crack of dawn, and working on the little red car...I am tired! Which might have something to do with my decreased patience with my children. You would think that I would realize that the best thing to do would be to stay home tonight and go to bed early...but no, I think I will go scrapbook with my friends until midnight or later, instead of sleeping!

The third title I came up with was "What a man!" because my husband has more than sacrificed to get my little red car running. He has gone to bed late and woken up early...which if you know him you would know that the only time he ever gets out of bed before 7:30 am is when he is going hunting. This morning he was out of bed at 6am to finish up my car so I could drive it today. I feel bad, because I am pretty sure that what the mechanic told Barb when she took it in was not true since all we did was change the radiator fluid and wash out the engine and the car is working just fine! In fact, the girls and I drove it around today without any problems at all! It was fun to drive around but my oldest daughter is almost too tall to sit comfortably in the back seat...that means that I have two options: One is to let her sit in the front seat which means she is touching my stuff and in my personal space...or I sale the car because we don't fit! Hmmm...decisions, decisions.

Well...I guess if I am staying out all night I should go be the good wife and load the dishwasher before I go!

--Jessica

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Patience....Patience!

One of my most irritating personality traits has to do with my inability to be patient when I am really excited about something! The little red car that my husband purchased for me yesterday is falling into this category! I want it running....and I want it running now! In fact, I would like to sit in the floor and kick my feet and cry...much like my five-year-old has been doing lately but that's another issue. However, as an adult I know that this behavior would be completely inappropriate! Instead I must sit here, ask questions and SMILE at my husband when he tells me he thinks it is going to take a lot of work and time! I understand the concept of work...I am even willing for him to work late for the next two evening and I will even sacrifice my weekend so he can get my car running. Aren't I sweet?

At some level I know I need to take a deep breath and let him do things on his time....but let me explain what his time means to me. He bought the LT1 that he is going to put into the camero 10 yrs ago and has done nothing with it except move it from one place to another. When we moved into our house a year ago we pulled the carpet out of the bathroom (because what idiot puts carpet in a bathroom) and he was going to put tile down....the box of tiles is still under my bed. I bought a new kitchen faucet 4 months ago...it is still leaning against the wall waiting to be installed. I bought a new fancy shower head 6 months ago...still sitting on the closet shelf waiting to be put into my shower. So.....as you can see his time and my time are not the same thing! I am trying to be patient and kind. I am trying not to nag him or be rude to him. In fact, last night I told him that I understood that he needed time to get all of his ducks in a row and I didn't even add a but....get it done quickly please!

Patience is on of those things that I pray for constantly. Patience with my kids, patience with my students, patience with my husband. I feel a little weird asking God for patience in this situation. It's not like we don't have two perfectly good vehicles. It's not like having the vehicle next weekend instead of this one would have life altering affects. I know that I am being selfish and that I need to take a deep breath and wait. There is the saying "Good things happen to those who wait"...that is my least favorite saying because I am not good at waiting. I get excited and I just do it...I guess the famous shoe slogan is more my style. I can only imagine what blessings I have missed because I didn't wait to see what God had in store for me.

So, I guess today I will not call my husband every hour and ask him if he has gotten started yet, or if I need to get a part for him...instead, I will take the kids on a picnic and I will try not to think about my little red car.

--jessica

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

It's a Girl!

No...I am not pregnant...God really wouldn't do that to me! I am responding to the breakfast that I had with my dad (really my step-dad, Willy) this morning at 6:45 AM at Cracker Barrel. (6:45AM is really the butt-crack of dawn, by the way.) During the Christmas Holidays, I told my step-dad that he needed to adopt me because he really had been my longest running father. My biological father left when I was two. My adopted father killed himself about a year after I had been adopted. My step-dad married my mom when I was almost 8 and has been there every since. He was never really allowed to be a "dad" because my mom was afraid that with my history of abuse having him punish me would be harmful. I understand why she felt that way and I know she did the best that she could, but I have always had the thought that I might not have been so promiscuous if there had been a daddy watching over me.

Well, apparently my step-dad has been obsessing about the suggested adoption since Christmas. He called last week to see if I would go eat lunch with him...I thought I was in trouble for possibly leaving my husband so I said yes, but I have been putting it off. I called him yesterday and decided that I would meet him for breakfast since the kids and Robert would be asleep and I wouldn't have to worry about childcare. He seemed really nervous and I couldn't figure out why...and then he told me why...he wanted to adopt me but he was worried I would say no. Why would I say no? It was my idea! So...with all that said, my step-dad is going to adopt me. Did I mention that I am 30 yrs old and married with two kids? My husband laughed at me...Apparently he thinks the idea of adopting an adult child is silly...but at some level, I think this is exactly what I need. To know that I have a daddy who will fight for me and love me and take care of me might help me with some of my issues. I will keep you posted on the details...I wonder how much work this is going to be?

On a completely different note...my friend Barbara had a red camero that the engine died on so she took it to the Lawrence Hall (where my husband works) and traded it in for $500. My husband has an engine that he could just drop into it so he is now at work trying to buy me a red camero!!! Did I mention that Texas has this new points system for driver's licenses and I have already reached my points quota for THREE YEARS...that is what happens when you get 4 tickets in less than a year...and my husband is considering giving me a red camero with an LT1 in it????? He really should reconsider! OR....I should just realize that while the car will go fast I should not drive it over the speed limit...and I should wear my seatbelt!! Hmmm...that is a thought!!!

--Jessica

Monday, March 13, 2006

Owww!!!!

Our Saturday family outing included a birthday party at the local skating rink. I have never been one to go to the skating rink and just sit and watch the children skate, so this trip was no different. Robert and I put the girls' skates on and watched them for about five minutes...and then I had to go get a pair. I jokingly told Robert that I would skate until I fell and then I would be done...of course, thinking that there was no way that I was going to fall. Boy was I wrong! I did well for the first two hours...but on my last time around before "cake time" I turned the corner and landed on my behind. OWWWWW! No one saw...or at least no one that would pick on me about it...Robert, Windy, Chris, or my kids!!! I did, though, immediately take my skates off and tell everyone what had just happened. Since they didn't see me bounce...they couldn't raz me nearly as badly.

It has been two days since the fall at the rink...and my body hurts in places that I did not know existed! I would like to say that when I take the kids skating this week (no school--it's spring break!) that I will just sit and watch them skate....but I am sure that despite my sore bottom I will not be able to resist the call of the rink! Besides, who can resist skating to "girls just wanna have fun."

--Jessica

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Superwoman or Slacker?

I am sitting here procrastinating once again. I have to read about 200 pgs for class tonight and I am supposed to type notes as I do the reading! Who's bright idea was that? Why would you need to type the notes as you read the chapter in a textbook? It makes absolutely no sense to me...and I would actually keep up with my reading if I didn't have to type the notes. Who can type and read? Gotta love teachers!

Usually when I procratinate, I sit on the couch watching Dr. Phil while looking around the internet. Today, I saw a quiz that interested me after my post this morning about being a wife or a slave. The quiz is titled "Are you a Superwoman or a Slacker?" I can never resist the urge to take these types of quizzes so I took it. Because I am sitting on the couch not doing what I am supposed to, I really thought that I would be a slacker. Boy, was I wrong. According to the quiz, I am SUPERWOMAN!! Their solution is to start saying no to people. Hmmm...where should I start? Should it be with my husband, children, students, employers, the music minister at church, or my friends? Who gets the first no???? There are no real options here! Everyone requires something of me and it generally is something that I cannot say no to. I really think I just need a wife...or a clone!

Here is the link to the quiz http://quiz.ivillage.com/health/tests/busybody.htm?par=msnmbswbrelated%20%20%20&iv_cobrandRef=msnwomen Take it and let me know where you stand!

--Jessica

I Want a Wife!

Yesterday, one of the other professors handed me an essay entitled "I Want a Wife". As I read through it, it dawned on me that my entire issue with being a wife is that somehow the term has been confused with slave. This list of 'jobs' that 'belong' to a wife are very long indeed and when the wife isn't home these jobs just simply do not get done. I am not talking about loading the dishwasher or starting the washer, I am talking about all the other things mothers do.

My daughter needs to see the pediatrician for a second Hep shot. You cannot know how badly I do not want to take the child for this shot. She is five and five year olds do not sit calmly and quietly for a shot. In order for the shot to be given successfully I will have to climb onto the dr's table with her and become a sort of straight jacket to hold her down. Last night, I asked my husband who our pediatrician was, where his office was located, how I make appointments, what insurance the girls have and where the cards are, and where I fill prescriptions. He knew who the pediatrician was and the insurance plan the girls have but that was all. When I tried to point out to him that this was a problem his answer was "do you want to go get the job that supports our family?"

HMMMMM....how am I supposed to respond to that?

--Jessica

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

I Survived!

Well, I survived my birthday experience! It was an evening with lots of margaritas and these grand little shots called "blow jobs". If you haven't had one, you should rush right down and have that experience. I did figure out that I do not have the ability to drink an entire pitcher of margaritas as well as five shots and still walk a straight line. I must be getting old! Good thing I thought ahead and had a designated driver! Thanks Shannon...I appreciate that you gave up an evening of drinking just so you could drive my drunk butt home!

--Jessica

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Happy Birthday to ME!!!


Well, I am now officially 30 years old. Wow! I have come a long way in 30 years. I was the product of a teen pregnancy and marriage by two people who had no business being involved in either. I was then greatly abused until my aunt and uncle adopted me at the age of 5. My teen years were marked with rebellion and struggle and I was sure that life would get easier when I became an adult. Little did I know that the struggles we encounter in adulthood are just as difficult as the ones we encounter in childhood.

I was married at 19 to a guy who was everything my little heart could desire...remember, it was a 19 yr old heart which means the desires included tall, wrangler wearing, cowboy, muscular, funny etc. etc. My list didn't include kind, caring, loving, patient, etc. but I guess those must have been there, as well, since we celebrated our 10 yr anniversary in December. After marriage, we did the normal young couple things...first got pets...then had babies...bought a house and a car. I graduated a couple of years ago with a M.A. in Communication and started teaching at a local junior college.

Through all of this, I have never been exceptionally happy. In fact, life has been rather frustrating. I feel underappreciated by my husband and my children. I feel like the role of the wife and mother has somehow become confused with slave. So, in response to these feelings I did what any self-respecting woman would do...I got a tattoo for my birthday! (The one pictured above...Justin at Happy Dragon did an awesome job!!!) My parents paid the money...which just makes me laugh. It is almost as if they are aiding in my rebellion against the world. Because, you see, 30 yr old women, who teach college classes, and have two children should not go and do things like this...or so that is what is going on in my head right now. For my birthday, my friends that I have picked up from all the different areas of my life...church, teaching, scrapbooking, barhopping, etc...are joining me for an evening at a local Mexican restaurant known for their margaritas. I am betting that we will have a wonderful time...or at least a time that will fill my rebellious need, kindof like the tattoo!

--Jessica