Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Summer Rain...

Seriously?!?! Another day of rain?!?!?! I thought I lived in Texas!!! AUGHHH!!! I understand that rain is good & that rain is necessary for growth and cleansing, but, um... I've had enough this summer!!! Not like my complaining will make it stop happening....

For those who read my last post and are wondering... Gpa didn't call. I finally called him and his new wife was sick, so he said we should try again another day, although he didn't set a day, so who knows when/if that will happen. I kind of wanted my family crap to be fixed before we head off to Michigan for 10 days.

Speaking of Michigan, soooo thankful that I have inlaws that are amazing!!! Jasen's parents are divorced and in different states, so I'm guaranteed at least two adventures a year out of the state of Texas, but they've also been quite loving an accepting of myself and my babies. I do find it rather ironic that the parents that are the most loving and accepting are the ones that aren't especially religious and the parents that have been the most unforgiving and unaccepting are the ones that are religious. Makes it quite difficult to argue for Christianity when the Christians in my life are causing the most hurt. Not that I've turned my back on Christianity at all (would hate for people to think that), but I've def struggled with it all for the last year & mainly due to how people in the church & in my own family have acted! Maybe we will just move to Michigan and be where the family that loves us regardless is! :)

Monday, July 26, 2010

Waiting for the phone to ring...

This weekend was my Gpa's 78th birthday! My mom had a bd party for him that I wasn't invited to, but my ex was. There have been lots of those occasions over the last year. Apparently, getting out of a toxic marriage is grounds for disownment in my family. I'm sooo very tired of having to explain myself & my action to people who obviously don't get it. My dad wants us all to just 'get along', but what he doesn't get is that by inviting the man who emotionally & verbally put me down for 14 years they are telling me exactly what they think of me. And quite honestly, not a week goes by that I don't wish the ex had just punched me, so my parents would actually recognize the abuse. It really sucks to be the black sheep, when all I did was leave an abusive marriage. (And yes, I did some things along the way I'm not proud of, but however illogical, it was my only way out!)

Sooo...now I sit here waiting for the phone to ring, because after a year of not talking to anyone in my family, I called my Gpa on Saturday & invited him to lunch today. He's supp to call me & set the time sometime this morning. Sooooo....let's see if the phone rings.

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Saturday, July 24, 2010


Currently in the van, on the way to Odessa, TX to see our favorite bands---The Dollyrots & Bowling for Soup! This makes roadtrip #6 of the summer & each roadtrip reminds me how lucky I am to have my amazing husband! I love that he has the desire & ability to just wake up on a Saturday morning & say 'hey, let's go to_____'!!! I grew up with a dad that didn't like traveling & I remember how frustrating that was for my mom~~~thank you honey for being willing to fill my need of impulsivity!

Oh & for this particular roadtrip, I got new shoes~~apparently cowboy boots are not the proper attire for a punk rock concert!

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Wednesday, July 14, 2010


There have been quite a few times lately that I have wanted to take my college students and to shake them until they open their eyes & see what it is they are doing wrong~~~~and up until tonight, I've done a pretty good job of only saying small comments to hopefully make them stop for a second & think....tonight, however, was a different story! Tonight I lost my cool & I unloaded with both barrels....and I'm hoping that they will listen! You see, the truth is, I've done all of these stupid things they are doing and I'd give anything to undo some of those choices! And quite frankly, it hurts my heart a little to see these beautiful young ladies make these choices, because in the end, they are going to find that the consequences are more than they ever would've imagined! So here's hoping the verbal lashing I gave actually did something! :(

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