Another day... I've made it another day. A single day hasn't passed without tears since last Thursday... but I'm pluggin' along.
Although, I won't go into all the details of our screw ups... I have come to realize some TRUTHS about life and the most important one is that without God this marrige isn't going to happen. God is the only one who can repair the hurt that we have done to each other. Neither of us is innocent... we have both done things to the other... and God is the only one who can take that pain away.
So... here's to more prayin' that God will take this hurt and pain away... that God will clog my tear ducts... or better yet, I won't have a need to cry.
--jessica
2 comments:
Again -- been there. It hurts my heart to remember it and to think of you being there, as well. I know that at our lowest, most wrung-out, God smiles because we have FINALLY given it all to Him. You sound like you are on your way -- you are absolutely right; it won't happen without Him.
Remember me telling you that putting your marriage back together is walking over broken glass to get to a beautiful vacation resort?? You're in the middle -- wiped out, bleeding and bruised. I'm standing at the doorway of the resort (think of "Tatoo" on Fantasy Island! :-) waving you in, Jessica. My feet, hands, and knees are all scarred from me dragging myself and my friends dragging me over that glass. I've been there, but it is SO precious on the other side. All you have to do is make it through tomorrow -- with or without crying, it doesn't matter. One foot in front of the other, laying it all at His throne.
"Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom" and clearly you are recognizing that God is the only one who has control - that's GOOD and as you seek Him and acknowledge his sovereignty in your life and SUBMIT to it, He will give you wisdom AND peace. This is a trial - only a temporary time of pruning. It is painful but necessary for our growth. You WILL get through it -- just seek His face and rest in HIM! Love you.
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