3 days... that is how long I have spent crying... 3 freakin' days. My eyes are swollen, my head hurts, and I can't keep my nose from running.
We went to see our preacher today and he had some great words of wisdom for us. He suggested that many of our problems started at the very beginning... and until we forgive each other for the things that happened back in 1994 we won't be able to move on. As much as I would like to shout a great big "whatever" to that idea... I think he is probably right. We have done things both purposely and accidentally to hurt each other. There is no trust in our marriage... and we have both let in crap that didn't need to be there. Basically, we have a lot farther to go then either of us ever guessed.
Our homework for the week is to read Psalms 51 to each other, out loud, every day. At some level that is soooo much better than the staring at each other bit the last counselor gave us as homework... but then again, we read it in preacher man's office and barely got through it because we were all teary.
So... that pretty much catches you up on things... at least to a certain level. I have gathered the women around me that Sarah suggested... but don't think you are off the hook if I haven't called you yet... I'm working on it still... there is still so much ground to cover I might need a rather large group of people praying for me. Thanks for your support and your prayers... they are much needed and appreciated... jessica
6 comments:
I've been praying for yall and will continue to do so. Do what Sarah said - it can change your life and heart.
And another thing (I know, I need to shut up)!! Seriously, don't beat yourself up for not having the energy to ... whatever "extra" you may usually do. When you are trying to keep your family intact, that's pretty much all you can do. Take it easy on yourself, turn as much down as you can, and don't feel guilty about it because your energy is going to The Main Thing.
Praying hard!
I appreciate your commitment. Last night in Bible class there was a section on resolve. Once we resolve to committ to something the devil seems to back off a bit (seems like never all the way), unlike when we are waiting to see how a situation turns out to see if it will work for us the devil will try and sabotage you at every corner. Once resolved to follow God's will it seems like the end is in sight no matter how far away it might be. The peace might not be there in your marriage right now, but the peace of your commitment to God will carry you through this to the other side. God is mighty on your side.
Keep praying and working on it. Jess, I'm so sorry that you're going through this hard time. God is faithful. He will restore the years. Just put your complete faith in trust in Him. Don't try to fix anything in your own strength; it doesn't work. This is the time to draw near to our Lord. He loves you and He will comfort you. Praying Sister. Love ya.
The thing that turned my heart around was The Power of a Praying Wife, with a group of girls my age. God used that to change everything for us. We'll be praying. I hope it gets better even sooner than you'd hoped.
Praying, praying, praying. Ditto what everyone said. . .especially the lean on God part and the don't feel guilty for letting some things go part.
Oh--I will add this--you get to cry as much as you need to cry. Truly. . .
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