Perception...

The girls have been complaining a lot that Jasen is cranky. While I have witnessed the behavior that the girls refer to as 'mean' or 'cranky,' I would not describe it as such. I mean, maybe it's that I think he has every right to 'get onto' the girls for not picking up their crap, that I think he isn't cranky? Maybe it's because I have recently become more aware of the fact that the girls are entitled and spoiled and lazy, that I haven't been bothered by his tone of voice? Maybe it's because I realize that he is doing his best to quit smoking and as long as he isn't yelling, I could honestly care less about his tone, as long as he doesn't pick up a cigarette? Idk. 

It seems to me that 'cranky' is all about perception. The girls do not like to be in trouble, but they like to be lazy more than they don't like to be in trouble. If that weren't the case, they would likely PICK UP AFTER THEMSELVES so that neither Jasen, nor I, had to get onto them? Right?????? Additionally, it is our job (Jasen and I) to parent the children. Parenting means pointing out habits that will make you a bad adult... LIKE LEAVING YOUR CRAP OUT EVERYWHERE. Right? Perhaps instead of pointing fingers at the person who loves you unconditionally, YOU SHOULD PICK UP YOUR CRAP??!!!??!!

I'm sure you are sensing a theme. We would like the girls to pick up after themselves. We would like a clean house. Neither of us thinks this is an unrealistic expectation. 

Additionally... the girls seem to have forgotten what life was like pre-Jasen. They seem to have forgotten how TOXIC the house they spent much of their childhood in was. They seem to have forgotten the negativity. They seem to have forgotten cowering in the corner. It's not bad that they have forgotten, but I have not. I have not forgotten the hate. I have not forgotten taking the brunt of their father's wrath, because I was protecting them. I have not forgotten the fear in their eyes and in mine. I remember. 

Maybe Jasen is being 'cranky' and 'mean' and I just can't see it, because I still remember how bad it was in our old life, but I doubt it. 

Again... it's all about perception, huh?