Friday, January 03, 2014

Introverts vs. Extroverts

I get it. Introverts need time at home. That's how they recharge their batteries. I am an extrovert. My batteries get recharged by being around people I like. In theory, this should be no problem.


But only because I ATTRACT introverts.

About 98% of my friends describe themselves as introverts. While I understand what makes an introvert tic, it's VERY difficult for me not to get my feelings hurt. I like my friends. I want to spend time with them. I want to dooooooooo stuff with them. I'm not even picky about what we do!But because they are introverts & need to recharge at home, I get a lot of nos. As an extrovert, these nos scream out 'I don't want to be your friend.'

I know that is not the message my friends are trying to send me, but repeated nos send that message. (At least I think I know...maybe it is the message they are trying to send me.) I'm not saying it's not ok for introverts to stay home & recharge. I do totally get it. I even have my moments when I just want to be home. But if the answer I most often get is no... It makes it really difficult to know whether or not I'm getting the brush off. Eventually I just quit trying, because continued nos translate to 'they don't like me' in the extroverts mind.

So my dear introverted friends, I'm sorry I annoy you with my repeated requests to dooooooo things. With people. With you, because I like you. I'm sorry. I honestly don't know how to make this better. In the same way that introverts say 'it's who I am,' I have to say 'it's who I am.'

Maybe I need to make a bigger pool of friends, so that I always have people to hang out with?!?!? Sigh.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Sherrie Frierson said...

Yeah I get frustrated with the introverted friends. So "going out" for me = going over to hang out and sit on their couch. And watch tv. For hours. I like relaxing and putting my feet up as much as the next person but not for 12 hours straight on my day off! I feel like the day is wasted, not a single productive thing took place and sometimes that's okay but not all the time. I sit in my office all day. Sometimes, all I want in the world is to DANCE!... but really, just stand for a little, interact with other human life. God gave Eve to Adam so that he wouldn't be lonely. We were put on earth to help each other not isolate ourselves!!!
.....End Rant

Jessica said...

<3 <3 I tend to want to go dooo things too. It usually includes the bar next door, but that's just because I like bars. They are safe to me. I'm not picky even about what I do though. Bowling, fishing, skating, a movie... I don't care. But people not wanting to hang out with me, because they need to recharge, really does hurt my feelings. I try not to let it, but it does. It says 'you aren't worth my time' and 'I don't care about your needs.' I hate that I take it that way. I hate it. But it is what it is.

Sherrie Frierson said...

I know it's hard, but try not to take it personally. we all have our different ways of unwinding. I even had to learn that with my boyfriend who is the biggest extrovert I know! But since he works all day on his feet and I work all day in a chair, our ideas of unwinding from the day will be polar opposites and you just have to find a happy medium that you both enjoy.