Thursday, September 28, 2006

Thoughtful reconsideration

On my way to church last night I started to feel a tinge of guilt over my venting on the blog. I would like to clarify that I do love my church... and part of my frustration was with my uncooperative family and the difficulties that come from having church on a Wednesday night.

My biggest issue with Wednesday service has more to do with what it isn't than what it is... and I have sat here and struggled with it. Most churches in today's age are very concerned with bringing in visitors... with bringing in membership... with bringing people to the Lord. This is done by having great choirs/praise teams, by having grand buildings, by having dynamic speakers, and by having services that attract people. Our Wednesday night service is none of those... it is in the fellowship hall... a room that has poor acoustics and no technology... our preacher is very nice, but not so dynamic... and the content for Wednesday's is a bit drab. None of these are meant to attract visitors. BUT... that is ok... and that is what I have realized today. Bro. Mike has called the people who are there on Wednesdays "the meat of the church" and he is right. We spend the first 30 min of our time together discussing prayer requests within our church family and prayer requests within our community. We discuss up and coming activities and we ask for the Lord's guidance in those. These things are all very important within a church... and while they may not be entertaining... and they may not be comfortable to sit through... they are necessary... and I think we forget that.

As for the many suggestions... I do appreciate them... there are no Bible studies on Wednesday night because the preacher wants us to attend prayer meeting... not sure it works... but I understand it. As for praying for God to talk to me... to touch me in some way... I do... everytime I turn on the radio, everytime I walk through the church doors, everytime I open my BIble, I pray for God to take my life and make me what I know He wants me to be. I pray for his word to touch my life and I pray for the knowledge that only He can give. I pray for patience with my children and I pray for the ability to focus even when the message isn't keeping my attention... I know that my Lord can do all of those things... and that is why I get sooooo frustrated when I don't get anything out of the service... because I am most definitely asking for it.

Anyway, this is probably more than you wanted to read so I guess I will sign off now...
--jessica

4 comments:

Sarah said...

Friend, we are all weary travelers on the same journey. Don't beat yourself up for getting tired -- just be happy you know where to go to get refreshed! :-) We're here for you!

Looney Mom said...

I know how it is... it's ok. We've all been there and I think we'll always find ourselves in that place where it just feels like we're going through the motions and our hearts just aren't in it. Hang in there. And thanks for your prayers and encouragement lately too. :)

Rebecca said...

I hate those down times at church, when everything feels mechanical and lifeless. We've had lots of those times since we've been married. If it helps, there's a book on desiringgod.org (they'll probably give it to you for free) called Desiring God, that really encourages you when you want to get the joy back. It helps you see beyond church and people and delight in who God is. But I know how hard it is to read when things are dreary like that.

The Flip Flop Mamma! said...

Well, first and foremost, this is your blog, and if you want to vent, go ahead, no apologies required.

Ok, I guess there isn't a second part. Just don't feel bad for venting, what better place to vent than your blog?