For those who are wondering, my walk was amazing. I'll share more later.
Right now I need some major prayers lifted up. My little brother and his girlfriend Ashley had baby Alyssa a little over a year ago. At the time of her birth, we knew there were problems, we just had no idea the extent of the problems. In the last year, Alyssa has had a surgery to fit a cleft small palate, an open heart surgery, and now on Wednesday morning she will have the top half of her skull taken off and reshaped because it has fused together too early. Alyssa is not developing normally... she has no motor skills... as in she cannot hold anything, roll over, or sit up... she can giggle at you when you act silly and she looks around... but that is all. The doctors have never given what she has a name, they just say that she has a syndrome. I'm not sure if the doctors don't know what the problem is or if they just don't think Matt and Ashley could handle it. We love Alyssa, she is quite precious, but her future is so shaky... so unsure... so challenging...
Anyway, on top of all of this my mom called to tell me that Ashley is pregnant again. I want to be happy.... I really do... but they are not married and they have an infant with soooo many problems already not to mention the fact that Ashley gets sick every time she takes Alyssa for an appt... how is she going to have a newborn and Alyssa??? On top of that... the genetic testing shows that Ashley's chromosomes are mixed up and my brother has had so much chemo his dr's suggested he not have anymore kids... anyway, do you get my frustration? I'm trying to be supportive, but I don't think they have been very responsible in all of this... It's too much of a risk if you ask me, but what do I know. I guess I would feel differently about it if I had gotten the impression that this was somehow planned, but apparently this baby was a complete surprise... just like Matt's other 3 children. Really, I'm not annoyed in the least... 4 kids, 3 women, it sometimes amazes me that we grew up in the same family. It was great fun explaining to my children that Ashley was pregnant again and fielding the questions regarding marriage, babies, and sin. Now, I don't want anyone to read this blog and think that I'm being a judgemental twit, I'm not, I love my brother, Ashley, and all the kiddos involved, I just really, really hate explaining all of this to my kiddos... I've gotten to be a pro at saying things like 'everyone makes mistakes' and 'yes I know, but we still love uncle matt.' I don't want my kids to think that babies are 'accidents' or 'mistakes' by any means, but I really don't know how to explain it all to them. Rt joked with Matt that he would pay for the vasectomy... I think he may be ready to make the appt and carry him to it.
So... please pray for baby Alyssa, pray for the dr's and the nurses who will be taking care of her. Pray for Matt and Ashley and my parents as they wait patiently for the surgery to be over... pray that there will be a peace about whatever happens. Pray for peace for all of us regarding this new pregnancy... I do know that everything happens according to God's plan and there isn't a lot that I can do about any of it... (see I did learn something this weekend!).