Out of Gas...

Watch me tie my title into this post in two ways... ok I'm a nerd...

Yesterday, I was sitting in my office and my cell phone rang. It was one of my favorite students of all time... Darshunda... or better known as Baby D. Let me tell you a little about her before I go on... She is a 6'4" black girl who is loud and outspoken and who will go to the mat for anyone she calls a friend. She comes from a family where there are no men... and where she is today is because the girl has some backbone. I have had the opportunity, over the last 2 semesters, to have long discussions with her about the company you keep and how they can affect your future... as well as to encourage her to follow her dreams. I absolutely love the girl... and she comes to me now whenever she needs advice or help or she just wants to chat. Ok... back to the story... Baby D was in the middle of I-30 in Ft. Worth and her car had died. Another tangent here... when she decided she wanted a car this semester I took her car shopping and helped her find this car from a guy Rt works with... so I feel slightly responsible if something happens to her in it. So... the car has died and she doesn't know what to do. I tell her to stay in the car and wait because I'm sure the cops will show and help her get to the side of the road. They did and then the police officer took her to a waffle house and dropped her off, because he didn't want to leave her on the side of the interstate. Problem: her family is in Dallas and she has no one to come get her. I start calling around trying to find someone to help her... finally found a friend... then the friend's car broke down. Finally, 3 hrs later her uncle picks her up (the only man she's related to... but one that doesn't see them ever). They go back to the car and we are trying to diagnose the problem... me on the phone and compt... her uncle in the car. Now, never once did I think, oh she ran out of gas. I was imagining disaster and it was stressing me out. But the more he messed with it, it dawned on me that was the problem... you know, seeing as how I've run out of gas more than a time or two. They go get a gas can... yep that was the problem. Praise God... but girl, you gotta read the gauge! :) I was exhausted by the time all of that was done! I don't think I have ever been sooo worried about someone.. .I just wanted to hop in my car and drive to Ft. Worth... which I probably would've beat the uncle thank you very much.

We have a friend who had a miscarriage about 8 mths ago... her due date was this weekend... so there are 4 of us taking her away for a shopping trip to Ft. Worth. While I know this trip will be good for her... I also know that I am sooo out of steam (gas... whatever, told you I'd tie it in) that I am hoping this trip will renew me in some way... guess we will see... see ya Sunday!

Jess

Forgiveness...

I had a very interesting conversation today about forgiveness... mainly because I'm having some issues with forgiving some people in my life. Here's the theory: We in America have a very distorted idea of forgiveness.

If someone steps on your foot and they say 'I'm sorry' what do you say? Most of us say 'oh, that's ok'.... well, really? was it ok that they stepped on my foot? Heck, no... and what I really mean is 'your forgiven and I won't hold it against you.' Now if you keep stepping on my foot, I will probably still forgive, but I will choose not to be close to you... and that's ok...

Now, this story was told to me as a means to help me understand why I am feeling so bitter towards a particular person... why I am having difficulty forgiving. It's because I don't want to say 'what you did to me was ok' and to a certain extent by saying 'I forgive you' I feel like that is the message I am sending. So... rather than send that message... it's easier to stay emotionally detached... easier to not forgive.

So... I guess what I need to say to a couple of people is: I forgive you... but the way that you treated me was not ok... and although I can forgive you I will not be treated this way. Perhaps we all could learn a lesson from this...

jessica

Seriously now...

Megs principal called today after school to tell me that she and 3 other children had been sent to her office.... why? you might ask. Megs took her earrings off at gym, because they were hurting her ears... Isaac grabbed her earring, handed it to Coby and then took Becca's earring... at which point both boys decided to pierce their ears. Huh? So the 4 children got sent to the Principal's office. Now, maybe I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that if some stupid little boy grabbed Megs earring... and she didn't hand it to him... and she was asking for it back... that she shouldn't have been in trouble... but I guess that's just me. The principal did tell me that Megs was very upset and that she understood Megs didn't give the boy the earring... so, um, why didn't she tell Megs she wasn't in trouble? Why did she yell at her like she did the other three? Cuz let me tell you how upset Megs was by the time she got home to me... oh my, you would've thought she had been suspended or something... and she's even saying she is never going to wear earrings again... now come on! Any thoughts here?

jessica

Flaky Moments

I'm not sure what my problem is, but I cannot seem to focus or remember anything... here are a few of the stupid things I have done lately...

This morning I took my class to a Professional Development seminar that isn't until the 20th of March. You might ask how I could mess that up... well, I had to RSVP by the 5th... and if I had read the paper better I would've realized it! UGH!

Yesterday I went to tan at a place I don't normally go... on a bed that I assumed was not as powerful as the high speed beds... and guess what? I burned my entire body... even my bottom... so I now look like a great big lobster.

The other sad part is that I keep using the wrong words and saying the wrong things etc... what is wrong with me?

Any ideas?

jess

Cell Phones and Other Drama...

After the sitting on the railroad tracks experience with the bus, Megs got a cell phone. I know, I know, she's only 9... she's way too young to have one... and if we lived in town it wouldn't have happened... but she has to ride the bus... and the cell phone was the best idea. (Besides, my cell phone was not cutting it anymore and by adding another phone I got the pretty pink razor and she got the old one until we can upgrade Rts phone in August.) Anywho... on the bus today her cell phone was stolen. (Insert dramatic music here.) When she told me, I got online to see what numbers the thief had dialed... and called them all myself. I narrowed it down to two options... Tara and Roger. I called Tara's foster parents at 7:30 to check things out, and Tara was already asleep and they weren't overly concerned about it. No big deal. I called Roger's parents and Roger did indeed have the phone... he says he found it on the bus floor... but he is grounded for life and will be bringing the phone to Megs in the morning. Being the responsible person I am, and not wanting Tara to get beat, I called her house again at 9:24 pm to tell them the phone had been found. The foster mother answered the phone with a 'hello we are trying to go to sleep' ... and hung up. Now, when I heard the hello I simply said "This is Jessica Wheeler again and I just wanted to let you know that we have found the phone"... I'm not sure if she heard any of it since she was soooo busy yelling at me and hanging up the phone. Jerk! Here's my question, though, was I wrong for calling at 9:24? Should I have just left the parents thinking the girl had the phone? Hmmm...

On another note, it is once again Dittos for Kiddos time. My friends and I got to the sale at 4:15 so we could be some of the first into the building. While we were spending our 45 min in line, we realized that some nerd had parked behind my friend's van, blocking her in. I guess the woman didn't realize that my friend was the second row... thereby sandwiching her in. Amy is not shy... so she went down the line a bit and just made an announcement that the maroon van needed to move... it moved. Well, when we came out of the sale, there was an entire third row of vehicles down much of that aisle... blocking not only Amy in, but about 6 other people. Now, I am a woman driver... and I know my husband would swear that men would never do that... but, come on, how can you pull into a parking place and not realize that there are two other vehicles in front of you?

jessica

Life...

A few updates...

My face is no longer swollen... but I can't seem to get rid of the upper respiratory infection... I'm so tired of being sick. I have gone to bed before 9pm two nights in a row... tonight I needed to blog so to bed before 10pm...

Creepy science guy hit on me again Saturday night... EWWWWW... gonna have to get someone to play intervention for me. He called tonight to ask if we were gonna go to buffalo wild wings, luckily I have this darn cough...

Sunday night was the night that our church went to lead the service at the 'black'' church... man, that is one group of worshiping' people... I was joking about needing to change churches until I found out that when the preacher gets happy service can last until 2... I jokingly told Ms. Bell (she works in the cafe at MCM) that I wasn't sure I could handle that... she went into a tirade about how when we have church on a schedule, we limit God... and you know what, to some extent I think she is right. Why is it that church has to be on such a schedule? Traditions... I know... but doesn't tradition limit God? Hmmm... just an idea... if my preacher got happy and preached an extra hour I bet all hell would break loose... either that or people would get up and leave...

My birthday is between Wednesday and Thursday... the joy of being a leap year baby... so if you wanna send a gift... JUST KIDDING... but I have noticed a few things that don't make sense. For example, myspace sends reminders to your friends about your birthday... unless you are a leap year baby... then they don't recognize it.... My driver's license is to renew next year... which is a year with a leap day... and yet, my license still expires on 2/28... what's that about? My insurance company sends birthday cards to its members every year... I have never gotten one... and its my policy... yet Rt, whose bd is 3/2 gets a card every year. Ok... enough whining... I think I'm going to just start telling people my leap age... so from now on I am 7 3/4. Here's the funniest part of it all... the year I turned 7, Megs turned 7... Kali will turn 7 this year and I'm still 7... Kali will turn 8 next year... I will turn 8 next year... fun, fun....

jessica

Parotitis...

On Monday, the side of my face started to hurt... I wasn't sure what I had done, but I didn't really pay it any mind. Yesterday, I woke up with the right side of my face painfully swollen. I went to the dr and he diagnosed me with parotitis... don't worry, I didn't know what it was either... it is an infection of the spit gland that runs down your jaw line... hence the swelling from my cheek bone to below my chin. It is viral... and he said I'm not contagious... but I'm not really convinced. Here's the freaky part... when I typed parotitis into the search engine mumps came up... so I guess they are synonymous...

so... I would just like to say... REALLY???? Pink eye and Mumps... all within a week... AUGH!!!!

I slept most of the day yesterday... and today I took Clorox wipes with me to class so my students could wipe down their desks... I know that I have been living under a huge amount of stress... and eating out every meal... and staying out late... so I guess my immune system has rebelled. I guess I will start working on taking care of myself...

On another note... for those who were confused about site meter... go to sitemeter.com and register your blog... it puts a counter at the bottom of your page... mine is a little rainbow box on the bottom of my screen... anyway, hope that helps!

--jessica

Site Meter & Other Happenings...

I know I'm behind the times... but I just checked out my site meter to see who reads my blog. It's a little weird to see that someone from Columbus, Ohio reads it religiously... I only know a couple of people up there and neither know of my blog... someone from Tye, TX reads it too... not sure who that is. If either of you would like to reveal yourselves....

The other interesting thing (to me) is that I have tons of visitors... and only 2-4 comments per post. What in the world?

On a completely different note... I went to the dr on Friday... and I had pink eye. I was a little irritated. I mean, how old am I? How in the world did I get pink eye? Dirty college kids...

After school today I was in the mood for some peanut butter (chunky of course) and crackers... I asked my oldest to grab my the jar... she looked at the top and told me it was one of the recalled jars. Not wanting to believe her, I checked online... and yep, it was. Irritating... that's what is was~ I wanted crackers and chunky peanut butter... I ended up eating the creamy kind.

On Tuesday nights, I go out with a couple of guys I teach with to Buffalo Wild Wings. One of them has a girlfriend who is moving here on Sunday... so I was joking with the other that there will be no more Tuesday night fun... and he totally hit on me! EWWWWWW! I mean, I have no problem with being flirted with... or being hit on... if the person is attractive... I can't handle being hit on by people who make me go EWWWWW! That definitely means the end of Tuesday night fun!

Ok... I think that is all I have...

jessica

Church Exchange

One of the things that the Baptist church has tried to do (at least in our town) in order to cross the racial divide that happens within churches, is create partnerships between black and white churches in town. Our partner church is Holiday Hills... and tonight was the night where they came over to our church to lead the service. Let me just say that those wonderful people put every single person I know to shame when it comes to worship. When the choir sang (all four of them) they had more enthusiasm and sound than all 30 of our choir members put together... they lifted their voices in praise that made me a tad envious... oh to have that power. When the preacher preached... WOW... what energy... and what a message. My oldest asked why the preacher sang while he preached... I'm guessing that she's never heard a preacher with such vocal intonations. When the choir sang, she asked why people were dancing in the choir loft. After the service, I told my music minister that I think I'm in the wrong church... his wife agreed with me... our preacher better be careful... he's gonna have a whole section of people deserting our church to head to our partner church...

jessica

Happy V-Day!

Happy V-Day... that's all I got. It's been a loooonnnngggg day! I ate lunch with the girls today... then we partied it up in the classrooms. Candy, Candy everywhere! Wow! The girls were on a sugar high when they got home...

Speaking of getting home... they ride the bus... and the bus was about 40 min late today. When it finally got to the stop Megs told me that the engine had blown.. while they were sitting on a railroad track! What??? The sat on a railroad track for 30 min... did you read that... they SAT ON A RAILROAD TRACK IN THE SCHOOL BUS FOR 30 MIN. I was sooo not happy about that.

Here's the most frustrating part... we got an extra cell phone because the house I am in doesn't have a phone and occasionally the girls will refuse to go to the store with me... and I leave them there... the extra phone gives them a way to reach me. Megs wanted to take it with her Tuesday night and then just keep it in her backpack... Robert and I both said no way... now we are both wishing she had taken it... because then she could have called me to let me know what was going on. I would have had no problem driving to Clyde to pick their bottoms up instead of letting them sit on the railroad tracks! Guess she's taking the phone from now on!

On a more chipper note, my cousin Misty is getting married in July in Austin, TX. She has asked Megs to be a jr. bridesmaid, Kali to be the flower girl, and me to sing in the wedding. (Guess I should get started on a song!) The girls are way excited that they get to be in a wedding.. they felt kind-of short changed when my little brother cheated on his fiance and the wedding was called off. Now they get to be in a BIG wedding... Misty is the only daughter of my Aunt and Uncle. .. so they are excited!

jessica

Cleaning poem!

So I saw this on my friend's myspace... it is sooooo true!

Cleaning Poem
I asked the Lord to tell me,
Why is my house is such a mess.
He asked if I'd been 'computering',
And I had to answer "yes."

He told me to get off my fanny
And tidy up the house.
And so I started cleaning up...
The smudges off my mouse.

I wiped and shined the topside.
That really did the trick...
I was just admiring my work...
I didn't mean to 'click.

'But click, I did, and oops I found
A real absorbing site
That I got SO way into...
I was into it all night.

Nothings changed except my mouse
It's very, very shiny.
I guess my house will stay a mess...
While I sit here on my hiney.

I complain daily about how I need to be more productive... between my myspace, and my blogs its no wonder I can't seem to get anything done!

--jess

Weight Loss

So I went to the dr for a med check on Friday and left with 2 new prescriptions... higher dose of happy pills and blood pressure meds. yippee... in the most sarcastic of ways! The bottom number on my blood pressure was 103. Dr. M seems to think my blood pressure is stress related... he suggested being still, exercising more, and not putting myself in stressful situations. I laughed out loud when he said I needed to "be still"... he doesn't know me very well, huh? I wasn't just referring to sitting on my butt watching TV... he was also referring to being still and listening to what the Lord has to say. I'm pretty sure that he is the first dr. I have ever had ask me how my prayer life was.

It was rather nice to step on the scale and realize that in the last 6 weeks I have lost 15 pounds. I'm not really sure how it has happened... but maybe I'll get motivated to work on it if my body is going to do it all on its own! :) I mean, imagine how much weight I would lose if I weren't drinking beer and eating chicken wings at 10pm at night twice a week!

--jessica

Weight Loss

So I went to the dr for a med check on Friday and left with 2 new prescriptions... higher dose of happy pills and blood pressure meds. yippee... in the most sarcastic of ways! The bottom number on my blood pressure was 103. Dr. M seems to think my blood pressure is stress related... he suggested being still, exercising more, and not putting myself in stressful situations. I laughed out loud when he said I needed to "be still"... he doesn't know me very well, huh? I wasn't just referring to sitting on my butt watching TV... he was also referring to being still and listening to what the Lord has to say. I'm pretty sure that he is the first dr. I have ever had ask me how my prayer life was.

It was rather nice to step on the scale and realize that in the last 6 weeks I have lost 15 pounds. I'm not really sure how it has happened... but maybe I'll get motivated to work on it if my body is going to do it all on its own! :) I mean, imagine how much weight I would lose if I weren't drinking beer and eating chicken wings at 10pm at night twice a week!

--jessica

Dance Lessons

The city of Abilene has a great recreation program... they offer tons of educational classes, kids classes, and dance lessons. I have wanted to take dance lessons for about 2 years... and even though there is all this drama... Robert and I decided that we would take lessons with a few couples from church. They have been a blast! Best $41 we have ever spent.

Tonight we learned to jitterbug... last week, the waltz... and the week before, the two-step! My arms are a little sore, but it was sooooo much fun to twirl around the dance floor. It is nice to have one evening of fun... not to mention exercise... a time to forget the drama... and just enjoy the company!

If you live in Abilene, you should take the next round of classes... all ages of people take the lessons... at all skill levels... check 'em out!

Transitions

Two weeks ago my husband and I separated. Things have gone pretty smoothly... until this morning... not that there was some crisis... it was more comical than anything.

On Friday, I gathered the girl's clothes for the weekend, including their church clothes. I made sure I grabbed Kali's boots too. Well, as we were getting ready this morning I looked everywhere for Kali's boots... they were no where to be found. I called Rt and asked him to bring Kali's boots to church and he said he would. When the girls and I got to church I went to the truck to get the boots... he had picked up Megan's boots. OOPS!

I dropped the kids off at Sunday School, Kali without shoes... her teacher said "oh it doesn't matter, she kicks them off the minute she walks in anyway." Then I ran home to figure out the shoe issues. As I dug through my shoe basket, guess what I found... yep, Kali's boots!

I'm beginning to think I wasn't supposed to be in Sunday School or something... since I made it back to church just in time for worship.

--jessica

Choices...

Every semester I get a new group of freshman. As the semester goes, I get a little preachy in the "how not to screw up your life department" and some of the students get it, some don't. Saturday night I was at a basketball game... I always sit with the students because they are much more interesting than boring faculty.
As I was climbing up the bleachers I saw a previous male student "A" (one that I liked) talking to a previous female student "K" (one that sooo wasn't my fave person). Being the nosy person that I am, when "A" sat down in front of me I asked what was up with that. He turned around and with a straight face told me how she was the love of his life and that she is carrying his child... needless to say I was floored.
Now... these students are both first generation college students... she works 3 jobs to be able to go to school... he struggled with coming back to MCM because of the cost of school... their parents do not help and I can't imagine either set being excited about this pregnancy... but both of the students were all giddy about it. Being the blunt person I am, I looked at "A" and questioned what he was thinking... why he didn't pay attention to any of my lectures... and he, again with a straight face, looked at me and said "but I love her... and when its love, its love." Seeing that it was too late to change their fate... I asked about school and he again straight faced told me that I had done school with two kids and a husband so he guessed they could do it. HUH? I wanted to go into a rant of how difficult it had been to do school with children, how I wished I had done things differently, and how I had a husband to pay the bills while I was going to school... but instead I decided to save it for another day...

I am an instructor at a school where more than half of the students are first generation college students... I hate to see things like this... I care about my students and I want them to succeed... I want them to learn from my mistakes and do better...

Brain Block

Well, I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later.. I have absolutely nothing to blog about. At least not on this blog. There have been no funny statements... funny classroom happenings... all I can think about are serious thoughts... and well, those have a place on the other blog!

So... I hope everyone has had a great week and maybe tomorrow I will have something to say!

Enough Already!

Can I just say I have had enough of the weather! I seriously could use some sunlight! How much longer is this going to last? Anyone know?

--jessica

The Tooth Fairy

Kali lost her first tooth! She has been sad for about 6 months because all of her friends have lost teeth... I kept telling her it would happen eventually... and look, I was right! She was so excited about losing it... she kept playing with it and she broke in half... hence the hands on either side of her mouth! I guess this is a sign that she is growing up, huh? It was hard enough sending her to kindergarten... and letting her pick her own clothes... now she's losing teeth... what's next? Just kidding... I love that she is growing up... and each stage is more interesting than the next. Kali is a bundle of energy... I mean her teacher at school told me that she "loves her personality"... not 'she's so smart', or 'so well-behaved'... but 'loves her personality'... is that a sign? I so enjoy her personality, though... except on days that we need to be somewhere 5 min ago, because she doesn't know what 'hurry up' means... she makes me laugh daily... she is so confident and will totally do the most random things because they were fun... for example, when I was at the church practicing for my duet in the Christmas program she did back flips all the way down the isle... I asked her why... she responded with "its more fun than walking!"... wonder what the future holds with this one!

--jessica

Country Living...

Last night when I was watching the news, I realized that the only school that had to post closing and late starts were the schools in the boonies... can someone explain to me why it is that little country towns don't feel that it is necessary to honor MLK day? Ok, Ok, I know too much conflict in that discussion to actually get any comments!

This icy weather has once again reminded me of why it is that I dislike country living.... Social Isolation. I mean, we have no neighbors, at least not any you can actually see. And the ones I have met were under not so great circumstances... you know, your dog just ate my chicken, calf, messed with my horses.... stuff like that doesn't make for friends. And since I slid off of the road twice this weekend... pretty sure I can't just call my friends up to come out... at least not with a clear conscience. Even the girls are going a bit bonkers... Megan asked if we could just go to Wal-Mart or something!

I figure I can't get away with just saying I slid off the road and leaving it at that... I will elaborate. I went to Ft. Worth on Friday for some time to think... I came home on Saturday around lunch... and did fine until I hit hwy 351... about a mile from my house my rear end started slipping... and a car was coming... so somehow I managed to hit the bar ditch without hitting the telephone pole, speed limit sign, or rolling over... but then I ended up in the middle of some guy's plowed field. I tried to drive out, but I was stuck. Luckily, country boys are very helpful and within a couple of minutes I was pulled out. Unsure of country etiquette, I called the sheriff to make sure I didn't need to find the land owner... I mean, I did mess up his pretty little field. The sheriff laughed at me... he was certain that the field was already messed up due to the freeze. The second time I slid off my options were to hit the guard rail and possibly end up in the creek bed or once again go for the bar ditch. I choose the ditch... but the next morning when we drove past the spot I realized how lucky we were that we didn't flip... that sucker was deep. I can hear my mother now "What was so important that you couldn't stay home?" No good answer there... other than I wasn't in the mood to cook.

Anyway, hope you enjoy your MLK day!

--jessica