Wisdom from Desperate Housewives

One of the most irritating things about being a church goer are the people.... the people who say things like "Ask of the Lord and you will receive" because the truth is it doesn't always happen that way and we have a tendency to ignore that. I am not saying that God doesn't give us what we ask for... sometimes...but I am saying that it is in His power to say No or to say nothing at all. There have been many times in my life when people were telling me to pray and I would be blessed...to ask and I would receive...and what I was asking for didn't happen. I am not bitter about it...but I am bitter about those within the church who seem to forget the world is not all roses and the answer is not always yes.

Tonight, on Desperate Housewives, the final thought of the show was about asking God for the things that we want... and that sometimes, no matter how much we want it, His answer is No. I shouted a hearty 'AMEN' at the TV... but I was left with the feeling that the people who need to hear that message probably don't watch the show.

--jessica

Sunday Mornings...

We did an awful thing this morning...we skipped church and went to the grocery store. I know, I know, we are going to hell in our grocery cart! It was nice and quiet in the grocery store... and it was so much easier without the kids (who were still at my mom's). We bought so many groceries that we needed two carts...that is what happens when you haven't gone to the grocery store in over a month. Robert is catching on though, he asked me to get things he could cook for the kids. So, our freezer is full of kid and husband friendly food... corndogs, pizzas, sausage, hot dogs, etc. Those have to be better than ramon noodles, or McD's. Right?

I am currently sitting in the ACU library working on my research paper...can't you tell? I just can't seem to get motivated. I am a bit frustrated by the fact that they put a new Starbucks in the library...but it isn't open on Sundays. What is that about? I still need a caffeine boost and I still have homework...AUGH! Ok....8 more pages to go.....

--jessica

The Difference Between Boys and Girls

Robert is gone to a training thing in Waco, so the girls and I went to see the movie "8 Below" tonight at the dollar show. Our friends from church, Matt and Amy, were there with their two boys. The movie was great...no foul language, no sex, no violence. The movie did, however, remind me once again that there are some big differences between what boys and girls appreciate about life.
At one point in the movie, the dogs find a killer whale to chow down on...both of my daughters had a fit because it was quite disgusting. Braxton and Briley, on the other hand, thought it was the coolest thing ever. Later in the movie, Jerry and his girlfriend kiss...Kali cheered and Braxton said very loudly "that's just gross." I wonder what I need to do to convince Kali to think more like Braxton on this kissing boys thing....hmmmm.
--Jessica

Yes...He did it!

Yeah...Robert found a truck! It is the same green truck that I discussed earlier in a post...the person wasn't able to get it...so Robert swooped in and made it happen. He even talked them down on the price and got a free tool box in the deal!

It has been very difficult for me to sit idly by while he took care of this... mainly because I am a control freak. I have not been the patient and supporting wife that I should've been, but in the end he did a much better job at this than I ever would have. If left up to me, we would've signed our lives away on a $20,000 truck, because I just wanted it to be done. He on the other hand, did not want to spend more than $12,000 on the vehicle and was going to wait until he found just the right truck. This truck meets the requirements for our family: short bed (so I can drive it), 4 door (so the kids can get into it), and cheap (so my husband will sign the papers!).

I guess there are some lessons to be learned here: 1. God is good and will bless those who trust in him. 2. I am not always right and my way is not always best. and finally, 3. Other people are capable of doing good things if I will leave them alone. Am I missing any?

Anyway...Honey...Good Job!

--jessica

My Friend Anne

My friend Anne is moving away to Arkansas bright and early in the morning. I am a bit bummed about it so I started to think about the reasons that I love her so...doesn't that sound sappy? As I started on my list of reasons to love Anne, the one that kept coming up was the fact that she cares for her friends. I have not known her for long... but even in the midst of the messes that I managed to make of my life in the past year she has been there to remind me that the Lord loves me and that she loves me too. She is the first to say that she will pray for me when I seem to be spiraling out of control and I love that about her. Other things to love about Anne...she hates public restrooms more than me...she appreciates my sarcasm ...and my honesty...which she calls refreshing....she volunteered to lead the pre-k choir when no one else would touch it...and taught the kids so much...she hates to cook (just like me)... and she is a discouraged perfectionist (read earlier post for definition)...... she is a linguistic snob (see Sarah's blog) and finally she makes a great McD's and shopping buddy every Thursday morning. Needless to say, there are many who have been touched by Anne, and she and Steve will be missed. Hopefully the Air Force will deem in necessary to send them back this way soon!

This morning at McD's she had some jokes that I think you will appreciate:

What does the dyslexic pirate say? Q

Why do mommy kangaroos hate rainy days? Because the kids have to play inside

(Love you Anne!)
--jessica

PS. For my other wonderful friends... if you move away... you too will get a post of wonderful things said about you!

Frustration

Life can be so frustrating sometimes. My husband is trying to buy a used truck...you wouldn't think it would be difficult...you go to the dealership (where he works, by the way) and tell them you want a vehicle and this is how much money you would like to spend. In theory, this should be all that is necessary...but apparently at Lawrence Hall you get the special employee treatment. On Saturday, the salesman told Robert he had found him a truck; this morning he said all was good; this afternoon they sold the truck to a 'customer'. What is Robert, chopped liver? If you work there, you aren't a customer? You cannot begin to know how badly I want to go to Lawrence Hall and kick and scream and let them know how irritated I am. Instead, I will just sit on my couch and fume.

--Jessica

Rest

I have survived the weekend...are you surprised? I think I might be! Although my house still looks like a bomb blew up, I do feel like I accomplished something.

Saturday: I finished the 2005 album...now to plan another day to catch up on this year's album. Robert found a truck that fit into his price range...so, now I really do get to keep my little red car. Went to a going away party for my friend Ann...she will be greatly missed...I will tell you more about her later.

Sunday: Went to church...ate Ta Molly's for lunch...we had the best waitress ever...she brought us plates for the kids without us even asking. After church, we went to the hospital to see grandma. She was high on pain pills...it was kindof funny...she just chattered away. The program was tonight and it was great. I didn't screw up my parts...which is always good. My parents came to see their little girl sing in church...something they haven't seen in 12 yrs.

It is 9:30...my kids are asleep...my head is hurting...and I have to get up at 5:45am to teach...so I will share more tomorrow...have a good night.

--Jessica

Giddy

Although I know that by the end of the weekend I will be more than exhausted with tons of homework still to do I am very excited about it! In fact, I feel all giddy like a little kid. It isn't like there is anything earth shattering happening... tonight I have dress rehearsal for the program Sunday night...tomorrow I get to scrapbook for the entire day...Sunday night is the Easter program at church. See...nothing exceptionally exciting! I have been like this all day and I can't figure out why. In a previous post I talked about Sunday being the first time I have sung in church for 12 yrs...so I guess it could be nerves or excitement about doing that. I am very behind scrapbooking...so it could be knowing that I am going to finally be caught up. Who knows what it is but I hope it carries me through a very tiring weekend!

--Jessica

PS. For those in Abilene...I would love to see you Sunday at the program! (HINT HINT) ha ha...do you feel pressured?

What?!

I was perusing the web this morning and came across a link on my MSN home page that said "The breast pump takes off" and I thought...hmmm, what's that about. I clicked on the link and this is what I found.

While I am not currently breast feeding, I am a working mother...and I do not work "to get away from them." Things like this irritate the crap out of me because I know many, many good mothers...mothers who are much better at it than me...who work because to support the family. For me, work is about self-fulfillment, the feeling of satisfaction after a successful lecture...and a means to support my sometimes expensive Target habit. I think I just might to email this woman and let her know my frustration. Here is the link to the article. http://www.slate.com/id/2138639/

--Jessica

He is Powerful!

We are in the midst of a thunderstorm right now and it is beautiful. What better way to be reminded of the Lord's power than by watching the lighting strike the ground and hear the clouds rumble with thunder. It also helps to remind me that He is in control of all that is happening...that He has a plan. Funny how in the midst of the turmoil of my own life...I can see the power of my Lord in a thunderstorm...maybe I am growing up afterall....

My church is having an Easter program this Sunday night at 6pm and I really wish that anyone who reads this would come...or at least the ones in Abilene. The title of the program is Redemption and there are some great songs in it. Oh...you might need directions. The church is Southwest Park Baptist Church and it is on S. 20th between Barrow and Sayles. Hope to see you there...I'll be the one singing the duet "A love that will not let me go"...the song is awfully fitting of the love my Lord has for me, even on my worst days!

--Jessica

Is it you?

So...I think that reading everyone's blogs and wondering who they are is making me resemble a stalker. I was at WM buying ingredients for banana pudding and I looked up and saw a face that looked familiar. I tried to place the face with the places that I go and couldn't place her...then I thought...maybe that is 'supermom'. Long story short, it wasn't and there is now a woman running around Abilene thinking I am crazy! I love my life!
--Jessica

Random Thoughts

Thanks for praying for grandma...she came through the surgery fine. She will be in the hospital for a week, while they pump her full of antibiotics. She has a spacer (coated with very strong antibiotics) taking the place where her knee should be, so she will have to keep her leg straight for 8 weeks in hopes that the infection clears. At the end of 8 weeks, if the infection has cleared they will put in a new knee.

On Sunday, I asked my cousin to take our family picture...instead of a picture he took a movie...I tried to make a picture from the movie...this is what it looks like. I am a little sad...I scrapbook and I need a family picture for the Easter page! Aren't you sad for me? HA HA! I do have some of the girls...guess it will be one more holiday where Mommy's picture isn't in the scrapbook.

I have been doing a bit of shopping over the last few weeks (shhhh, don't tell my husband) and as I did laundry last week I realized there was a great need to clean out my closet or the new clothes weren't going to fit. I cleaned all the winter stuff out...took out all the spring stuff that I won't ever actually wear...and now I have about 2 feet worth of rack left...HMMM what should I do about that? After I finished my closet I moved to my oldest daughter's closet. When she got up the next morning she told me we needed to go shopping, because her closet was empty...I have trained her well!

--Jessica

Happy Easter!

After Thursday night I was not exactly looking forward to this weekend...but it ended up being a great weekend....and I didn't even have to clean my house to make it happen!

On Saturday, we went to my grandparent's house in Sweetwater. We ate lunch...fried chicken...yum yum...and then hung out...the men around the table...the women in the living room. I bounced around a lot as a child and I spent a lot of time with grandma and grandpa. They were the one consistent thing in my life, and they have always loved me no matter what. One of my favorite memories as a child is laying on the couch with grandpa watching the rodeo while grandma cooked us popcorn on the stove. We don't fit on the couch anymore...so the next best thing is to see him sitting in the chair with Kali putting together a puzzle or teaching her to play dominoes. It has been difficult to watch my grandparents age, but I love that my kids have developed a relationship with them. By the way, Kali beat grandpa in dominoes...95 to 70.

When we got home last night, the Easter bunny put together the girl's baskets...this morning Megan asked me "Since when does the bunny give us new socks?" What can I say...they needed socks and what better way to fill up the extra space in the basket...guess I won't try that again!

After church we went to my cousin's house for lunch and an egg hunt. I love my Aunt Sandy (really cousin Sandy, but I call her aunt) she is a lot like me...loud and honest. When she found out my parents were going to be gone she told Kim (her daughter...my friend) to call me and invite us to lunch. We had such a great time and it made me realize that even if my own parents do not want to have family time together...there is nothing keeping us from hanging out with extended family.

As I sign off tonight I ask you to keep my grandparents in your prayers this week. Grandma has an infection in the knee that she had replaced about 5 yrs ago. They are going to take out the knee tomorrow, put in a spacer, and pump her full of antibiotics for 8 weeks. If the infection clears they will put in a new knee in 10 weeks...if the infection doesn't clear they will fuse her leg bones together and she will just have a straight leg. The next 8 weeks will give us an idea of what that would be like! Pray that the infection clears and that the next 8 weeks are manageable. Grandma had a double mastectomy in '94...in those days they took muscles from your arms...so she is going to have a difficult time pushing herself up with her weak arms without putting pressure on her leg and grandpa has a bad back and can't really pull her up! I will keep you posted...Surgery is at 7:30am!

--Jessica

The Phone Call

I will start this by saying that I do love my parents...but what you are about to read is my rant about their behavior from last night.

My dad called at 9:30pm to tell me Mom was having chest pains and he was at Hendrick's with her, but that I was not allowed to come to the hospital. WHAT?!! Being the obedient child that I am (ha) I waited patiently for the next call. It probably helped that I was at the Bean Counter with friends from church who did a great job of distracting me...if you haven't been you should go look at the art work and see what the images make you think of. Anyway, Dad finally called back about 10:30pm to tell me the EKG was normal and that they would be going home in a bit; but the dr. thought this was a wake up call and basically, Mom needs to slow down. She will undergo a stress test next week and they will try to figure out what is going on.

Now for the kicker...my parents were planning a weekend away...don't even get me started about this weekend away, I mean what type of grandparents don't want to see their grandkids hunt eggs? I assumed with Mom's chest pains they would cancel their trip and we would have some type of family get together...I was even prepared to clean my house and cook a meal. Boy, I could not have been more wrong! Of course they are still going on their trip, on their motorcycles, to some hick town, because mom needs to relax. Well, have a good time...hope the hick town has a hospital...just in case!

--Jessica

Karaoke

All semester, my McM students have been begging me to hang out with them while they sing karaoke at Buffalo Wild Wings. So, last night after church choir practice I headed to BWW. Here are a few things that I learned from my evening out:

1. The later it gets the worse the singing gets. This might be due to the courage provided by the $2 Margaritas...but if you go to the restroom it makes it even worse, because you just hear the person singing and not the crowd.
2. If your skirt is only 5"long you really, really, really shouldn't sit on a bar stool to sing your song or visit with your friends. My mommy instinct wanted to sit some girls down and give a lecture.
3. People touch way to much. We sat at a corner table and everytime someone would walk by they would touch my back...I don't know if they were trying to find balance as they turned the corner but come on already...enough with the touching.
4. You shouldn't hug a guy you knew from high school (that you haven't seen since graduation) until you have introduced yourself to his fiance and informed her you are married with two kids. Hmmm....
5. It is always acceptable to sneak out of the building right before your name is called to sing...even if your students do call your cell phone and complain loudly about your cowardice.

I can say that I have gone, I have heard, and I will not be going back anytime soon! I can think of far better ways to hurt my ears! Not to mention, I don't think I could go again and get away with the quick exit!

--Jessica

PS. This spell checker has issues...for HMMMM this time I got Ammo!

I love my husband!

My husband knows that I have been completely stressed out from school and tonight he did the sweetest thing...he stopped on the way home and picked me up some roses, a card, and a bag of bugles. He said that he felt like the flowers and the card wouldn't be enough...so he picked up a bag of my favorite chips too! What a guy!

--Jessica

Success

I finished a big portion of my paper last night at about 11:30pm. I emailed it to my teacher and asked for feedback. She gave me a couple of directions to go with research and content. I have three weeks to get it finished....hmmm...do you think I should wait until the night before again? JUST KIDDING! Thanks for all of the support! It was great inspiration to look at my blog and see the moral support from those who have been reading! You gals are great!

Over the last couple of weeks, I have noticed a common theme throughout the blogs that I read...it is the theme of weariness. My own weariness comes from the fact that I am teaching 5 classes, taking 2 classes, and singing in the church Easter program, as well as trying to repair a marriage that was on the brink of disaster just 6 weeks ago. For the first time in my life, I have realized that I truly cannot do it alone and have had to depend on my Lord. For the first time in my life, I feel a peace and a strength that I have never felt before and it is amazing! I am a long way from where I need to be in my walk with the Lord...I still have control issues and there is still stuff I need to deal with...but I am a firm believer that the Lord takes us where we are and goes from there. So...to all those who are weary...I know how it feels and thanks for sharing it so openly on your blogs.

--Jessica

PS. So...shouldn't the blog spell check be able to recognize the word blog? HMMM.....

UPDATE

Ok...it is 9:15 pm...less than 24 hrs before my paper is due. I am sitting at Java City drinking some kindof highly caffeinated beverage working on my paper. In Courier New font I am at 11 pgs. HMMMM....I did figure out that what is due tomorrow is only a rough draft...so feasibly that means I only need 4 or so more pages to call it a night! Wish me luck...or better yet come to Java City and chat with me while I write!

--Jessica

SO....I just ran spell check before I posted and it suggested that I replace HMMMM with WHAMMY??????

Crunch Time

Ok...I am down to less than two days to finish my paper! Crunch Time! The goal is to spend all day tomorrow working on the paper...even if that means that I don't sleep Monday night! I am guessing that if I could just sit down and write... the paper will come...it always does...especially when the topic is one that is filled with such conflict and I am so interested in. Wish me luck!


--Jessica

PS. If you haven't read the post from Tuesday the 4th "School" ...please do and share your thoughts. A couple of posts have made me get a bit teary eyed...this paper might not be as easy to write as I thought it would be.

Best Cereal Ever

Ok...so I have nothing intellectual to discuss today...BUT...I have found the best breakfast cereal ever!!! Chocolately Peanut Butter Crunch!!! You should all try it! I bought a box and the girls got into it...so I bought another box and hid it in a different cabinet so that I didn't have to share! Isn't that just awful? Being a mom has its perks...but there have been many occasions that I have learned that getting a bowl of your fave cereal isn't one of them. I don't know how many times I've thought "I would like a bowl of Corn Pops..or HoneyComb..." only to find the box empty. I guess hiding a box of cereal might be an all time low...but they are that good.

Hope you have all had a blessed weekend!

--Jessica

Procrastination

For those who have been reading my blog since its inception you can probably see a common thread throughout...procrastination. I procrastinate anytime that I feel that a task is too difficult or I feel like I can't do the task perfectly. I am not sure what is keeping me from doing my research paper but the paper is due in 4 days and I have 4 pages done...which leaves 21 more to go! I could use some motivation to get started right now...anybody have some to share?

I did find out last night in my meeting with my advisor, that I am one class and comps away from having a 2nd Master's Degree...you would think that would be enough to motivate me.

--Jessica

School....

Ok...so here's the deal! I am working on a second M.A. this one in English. In my Adv. Comp. class I am doing a research paper over the definition of mother and how we as a society are influenced by the media. So...here is what I ask from you my blog readers...What is a Mom? Has your personal definition been influenced by the world around us? Etc. Etc. Really, so far the first four pages of my paper have turned into a rant about how difficult it is to do all the things a mother is expected to do. My next step will be to talk about the issues between stay-at-home moms and the working mothers and finally I will discuss the medias influence. I have 4pgs on my definition...only 21 more to go!

Thanks for your help...and I promise to post my paper when it's all said and done so you can see you wonderful posts cited in my paper! If you don't want the world to see your post you can send it to the email on my blog!

--Jessica

Can I Pretend I Didn't See it?

So...I am sitting on my bed in my bedroom with the windows open and the blinds drawn. From this position I can see the road and have been waiting patiently for the school bus to bring my children home. I hear the bus driving up the country road and I look out the window only to see it pass our house. The bus then stops....backs up...and lets out my children. There was no screeching of brakes or anything dramatic like that but the bus was traveling at a high rate of speed (probably 40mph) and then seemed to blindly back up. We live at the top of a hill so I assume the driver could see behind her...but you never know.

It took me a year to even put my children on the bus...we drove them into Abilene because I didn't want to drive them all the way to Clyde and the bus was not even an option. After much persuasion and the discovery that Kali could get free speech therapy and half-day school we switched them to Clyde...which meant that they would ride the bus home together after school. I have begun to love seeing their grubby little faces run up the driveway after getting off the school bus...So my questions are...Can I just pretend I didn't see the unsafe driving? Can I hope that it was an isolated event? Can I minimize the "unsafeness" of stopping and backing on a dirt road? I asked the girls what they thought and they laughed at me!

--Jessica

Catching Up!

I have been gone much of the weekend and it made me realize that I might have an addiction to reading blogs. It was all I could do to not run to the couch, pick up my laptop, and read all of my favorite blogs on Saturday when I go home. I was patient, though, waiting until the kids were at school and Robert had left for work to log on. I posted on Denise's blog that reading blogs had become a procrastination technique...and indeed I am not writing the paper for class that I should be!

Friday and Saturday night we had a ladies retreat at church. We went to the Miller Ranch in Lawn, Tx. They have built the perfect place for ladies retreats. It is a big building, decorated wonderfully, with the downstairs holding the kitchen and the main meeting area and the loft holding bunkbeds. I have been on retreats where everyone went to a hotel room and you really only got to know the people who you shared a room with...not at this place. There was no room to go to...you all shared a common sleeping area. It was great. I feel like I am developing those relationships that you need to have within a church...those people that will love you and pray for you even when you screw up royally (which I do often)! I did only get about 3hrs sleep friday night...partly because the younger generation stayed up late talking about life but the other part being that a certain person who will remain unnamed had her cell phone alarm to go off at the butt-crack of dawn...everyone but her woke up! I can only laugh about it now!

I got home Saturday at 5:27 and had to hop in the shower and throw on clothes and makeup to go to a Rehab charity dinner. It always cracks me up that the non-profit organization has a free bar at the dinner. I understand it...they have a live auction and a silent auction...the more people drink the more they spend. You might think I am joking but here is my favorite example...they had a dog that was a mutt and it got auctioned off 3 times for $400 each time. The third person kept it but the first two guys just wrote the checks and gave the dog back to be auctioned again. Gotta love how easy it is to give away money when you have had too much to drink! I am sure it didn't help that the girl holding the dog and walking around had pants on that convinced me she must shave or be hairless because if anyone else had them on pubs would've been sticking out the top! (Gross, huh?) It really irritated me that her mother kept saying "It's all in the presentation" as her daughter walked around trying to hock the puppy!


This lack of sense does not bother me nearly as greatly as the idea that our little girls are growing up too quickly and their parents do not seem to get it! Here are my two examples from the Rehab dinner. The Rehab sales raffle tickets for a shotgun. At the charity shoot they used teenage girls to sale these raffle tickets and the men fondly referred to one of them as "pink panties" I asked why and was sad that I had asked. She apparently was on a 4wheeler trying to sale the tickets and was wearing a denim skirt that was already too short....everytime she slid off the 4wheeler the men all got to see what color panties she was wearing. I don't know if I am more bothered by the fact that she didn't seem to notice that her skirt was up that high or the fact that her parents obviously didn't care enough to take control of the situation and put more clothes on their child. My second example goes right along with this one...I walk up to my husband and a man I have never met to see what they are talking about (can I just say how bored I was) and this cute girl walks up. She is in white capris with a black corset on top and she is looking for her father. The man I don't know points her in the right direction and then turns to tell us that the girl is 14! 14 and in a corset that accentuates her very perky boobs, along with the white capris that make it very obvious that the child is pantyless. 14 and every man in the place is staring at her as she walks by! WHY might I ask would any parent allow their child...their 14yr old child walk out of the house like that? Robert looked at me and said NEVER! I just smiled...I know we will reach a day that our beautiful daughters are going to put on clothes and we are going to realize that they have perky boobs and legs we would all die for...and hopefully we will have more sense than those people and tell them to put more clothes on!

Ok...enough procrastinating! I must start my paper! If anyone wants to help let me know! :) I am writing over the definition of mother! Post your definition and I can use it in my paper!

--Jessica