Six Flags

This is the second time I have attempted to post today!

I did something yesterday that I never thought I would do... I took the girls to Six Flags all by my lonesome. We had a great time.... and if blogger will cooperate I will post some pics! The first pic is the "this is what my kids were wearing" pic... one of my biggest fears is that I'll take em somewhere like that and some freakazoid will kidnap them. At least this way I have a picture of what they look like... I know, a little paranoid! The second pic was taken on the Mexican Hat... that ride has been around since I was a kiddo. A little scary if you think about it! The next picture is from the Judge Roy Scream... that was one of my faves as a kid... and my girls LOVE it! They got off the ride with smiles on their faces... pleased to inform me that they held their arms up high the entire ride. The final pic is of the girls with the Justice League... Kali was quite concerned that Wonder Woman might be cold!

Ok... so blogger has loaded the pics in whatever order it wanted to... I think it might be time to swith to beta...

On a completly different note... Megan had to see the dr on Christmas Eve with Strep throat... Kali went today... so I guess its that time of year again! Yippeee... wonder who is next!

--jessica

Coolest Present Ever...

Ok... I have a confession to make. My name is Jessica and I am addicted to Kali's Santa gift, the Fisher Price I Can Play Piano. This little present was a pain to obtain... meaning I (Santa) went to Wal-Mart, Target, KMart, Radio Shack, Penny's, Circuit City and Best Buy to find it... and left empty handed each time. I ended up ordering it off of Amazon.com, but it was soooo worth all the trouble! I've played with it for an hour this morning... and the girls have spent another hour playing it. While it doesn't teach correct technique, it is a great place to start. My favorite part is that you learn one hand, then the other, and then put them together... and it scores you. So for every missed note, you lose points... it's quite the challenge. But, for all of those without the fine motor skills to do it at tempo (me) you can slow it way down... it's awesome! Maybe I'll take it to my office when school starts back up... it could be another way to procrastinate!

--jessica

Merry Christmas

Just a quick note to say Merry Christmas one and all. I hope that each of you have an amazing day tomorrow!

--jessica

P.S. Evie.... glad you finally left a comment, now when are you going to get one of these things? I miss you sooooo much!

Holiday Spirit

I cannot seem to get into the holiday spirit this year. I didn't start Christmas shopping until yesterday and I haven't even finished decorating my house... Christmas with my parents and brothers is this Saturday at my house! Guess I should get on that! AUGH! I'm trying to find some spirit... I even bought a new Christmas CD... but it doesn't seem to be working. Any suggestions... maybe eggnog would do the trick?

Yippee!

Finals are done... grades are posted... I now officially have one month off! YIPPEEEEEEE! I don't have any big plans... other than sleeping late, working out, and catching up on blogs... so be ready, here I come!

Oh yeah, I forgot to add shopping to that list... Megan asked me on Saturday if I was going to actually buy presents this year... gotta love when your kid's a smart alec!
So... I guess it's off to the mall I go...

--jessica

P.S. I resurrected the other blog.

Love ya'll...

I just had a chance to finally sit and read any comments that had been left... and ya'll's love and support got me all teary eyed. Thanks for the support... I love you guys!

One more week...

Oh my, what a week it has been. We have our choir program at church this weekend... so I have had rehearsal every night this week. I am singing a duet with Justin for this program. The song is "Come Home" and it means a lot to me that Bret choose me to sing it with Justin... the man has an amazing voice. I usually do not have difficulty learning songs... nor do I have difficulty singing my song... but Satan has gotten into my head and I am struggling with this one. I don't want to screw it up... I want to worship my Lord with the talent he gave me... and I want to sing the CORRECT harmony. So, I'm asking that ya'll pray for me this weekend... that all will go well... and that the people who need to be touched will be touched. Here are the lyrics for the song... for those of you that KNOW me... you'll understand why this song touches me so...

Have you hungered in the wilderness for a peace that your heart knew before? Have you wandered finding something less when inside you've been longing for more. If you remember how it used to be when you lived your life more abundantly... come home... come home.

If you're tired, and weary, come home. The Father is waiting to welcome his own, and you've been gone, so long. Come home.

You've been searching since you said good-bye, like a child with a lesson to learn. But there's mercy in your Father's eyes as He waits for the day you return. And it won't matter where your heart has been when He holds you close in His arms again... come home... come home.

If you're tired and weary, come home. The Father is waiting to welcome His own, and you've been gone so long.. come home... come home..

Oh why do you keep running from the one who loves you most, so far from where you know you want to be? Patiently He's waiting and He longs to hold you close...even now He's calling softly and tenderly; Come home...

come home... if you're tired and weary come home... the Father is waiting to welcome His own... and you've been gone so long... you've been gone so long.. Come home.

I would upload the song, if I were feeling so industrious, but frankly, I'm too tired to even try it.

Just to catch you up on some of the happenings in our life....

1. Megan got a lead part in the 3rd grade program and she is EXCITED.
2. Kali has decided that it is ok to lay in the floor and make a fool of herself... so, she's been in bed by 7pm every night this week.
3. I am officially done with school... not because I finished... but because I withdrew from the university. I decided I would rather quit than fail... and let's face it... I have entirely too much on my plate to even pretend that I can do it all.
4. On the marriage front, things are going... not always easy ... not always hard... just going... I would love to be all chipper here and say that things are going to be ok... that we will be one of the couples that make it... but I believe in honesty... so my silence will say more.
5. I will be done with my own classes (the ones I teach) as of next Wednesday... and I think I will refuse to get out of bed for at least 3 days.

I am positive there is more I can post... but I must clean the house so the housecleaner can come in the morning (since she reads my blog I figure she'll get a kick out of that one)! If you do not have a housecleaner... I recommend that every person invest the $$$$. It is sooo worth the money I pay Holly every week to clean my house. I come home on Friday afternoons and the house is amazingly clean... and that means I can sleep late on Saturday and I don't have to spend the day fighting with my family about why they should help. I think I would give up sonic cokes before I would give up Holly!

love and miss you guys... jessica

(P.S. Shelly, I will get pics posted this weekend...)

Did you expect it to be different?

No, I'm not dead... just been really, really busy and tired of posting depressing thoughts!

I was looking on MSN.com just now, and there is a story about Pamela Anderson filing for divorce from Kid Rock... Did anyone really think it would be different for them? I mean, really? I love Kid Rock's music... one of those people I can't admit to liking with the kids around... but I have never envisioned him at the perfect man to marry!

Anyway, to each his own!

--jessica

Quick update...

Our preacher/marriage counselor has us doing homework this week that I have put off for 7 days now. The homework is to write down ALL of our significant thoughts for three days and share them with each other... then decide what we are focusing on that has no business in our minds... or that is taking away from us healing. So... here's the problem... I do not want to write down ever thought I have... several reasons for this: 1. who has time to write down every freakin' thought for 3 days? 2. If we are truthful about our thoughts someone is going to get hurt. 3. Why would I want to do something that is going to cause more drama?

Ok, Ok, I know it sounds like I'm having a bad attitude right now... and maybe I am... but every time I think of this assignment I want to scream. I mean, yesterday Robert and I had the worse fight we have had in a while... during the fight I had some pretty awful thoughts... most of them including murder... so if I tell him my thoughts, his feelings will be hurt and I will have to deal with that. Not to mention that Robert showed me his thoughts for one day and many of them included me... I'm not sure, but I am guessing that mine would not be such. I mean, I am a teacher, a mother, and a student... I'm pretty certain there is no time to just think about my spouse in a roses and rainbows way.

Anyway... this is where I am now! Thanks for the continued prayers!
--jessica

I haven't died...

Just a quick note to let you know I am still alive. Life is crazy right now with teaching, classes, and my kiddos... not to mention marriage counseling. I will admit, though, that it has been hard to know what to blog... I mean, half of my homework (from the counselor) has come with specific instructions about not asking for help... so I couldn't really post that!

Anywho... we bought a new to me vehicle today. Robert decided the camaro wasn't such a good family vehicle and went on a search. He finally settled on a trailblazer. I think he was getting irritated with me... he would suggest a vehicle and I would ask if it had a good sound system and cup holders. You know, a girl has to have priorities. ha ha... Anyway, the trailblazer has both... and it was the right price. You know how that goes!

Did anyone dress up today for halloween? I wore a halo... you know, to show what an angel I was... but everyone has smirked when they see me... what's that about?

--jessica

Another Day...

Another day... I've made it another day. A single day hasn't passed without tears since last Thursday... but I'm pluggin' along.

Although, I won't go into all the details of our screw ups... I have come to realize some TRUTHS about life and the most important one is that without God this marrige isn't going to happen. God is the only one who can repair the hurt that we have done to each other. Neither of us is innocent... we have both done things to the other... and God is the only one who can take that pain away.

So... here's to more prayin' that God will take this hurt and pain away... that God will clog my tear ducts... or better yet, I won't have a need to cry.

--jessica

The Morning After...

3 days... that is how long I have spent crying... 3 freakin' days. My eyes are swollen, my head hurts, and I can't keep my nose from running.

We went to see our preacher today and he had some great words of wisdom for us. He suggested that many of our problems started at the very beginning... and until we forgive each other for the things that happened back in 1994 we won't be able to move on. As much as I would like to shout a great big "whatever" to that idea... I think he is probably right. We have done things both purposely and accidentally to hurt each other. There is no trust in our marriage... and we have both let in crap that didn't need to be there. Basically, we have a lot farther to go then either of us ever guessed.

Our homework for the week is to read Psalms 51 to each other, out loud, every day. At some level that is soooo much better than the staring at each other bit the last counselor gave us as homework... but then again, we read it in preacher man's office and barely got through it because we were all teary.

So... that pretty much catches you up on things... at least to a certain level. I have gathered the women around me that Sarah suggested... but don't think you are off the hook if I haven't called you yet... I'm working on it still... there is still so much ground to cover I might need a rather large group of people praying for me. Thanks for your support and your prayers... they are much needed and appreciated... jessica

Where did I go?

Ok... I really haven't died or dropped off the face of the earth, but let me tell you how much I wish that were the case. There has been a lot going on... and I can't go into it in detail... but please keep me and my marriage in your prayers. I have found out some stuff I didn't know... that I don't like... and that I don't know what to do with... Let me just tell you how much Satan can attack when you feel like you've got it together. I just don't get it... why can't he leave me alone? Why can't the crap I've gone through in my life thus far be enough? One of my friends reminded me that God can use those struggles/trials/crap in our lives to reach out to someone else...but can I just say that I really do have enough "experiences" now with which to draw on... I mean, I was molested, physically abused, adopted, had my adopted dad kill himself all before the age of 7... then I managed to screw things up on my own plenty... I slept around and drank way too much in high school, I got married at 19, I had babies when I shouldn't have, etc. etc. etc. I could go on all day about the crap in my life that I could use to help others with. I can promise you that I do not have the stamina or strength to deal with what is going on right now... Anyway... just be in prayer... jess

I'm feelin' old...

So, is anyone watching Dancing with the Stars? My kids and I love it! Good family TV. Anyway, Mario Lopez... you know, the guy from Saved by the Bell, is one of the dancers. Yeah, and um tonight they celbrated his 21st birthday on the show. What?! Was he like 12 when I drooled over him on Saturday mornings? Anyway, I'm feeling a bit old right now... how 'bout you?

--jessica

Columbus Day

So... is there any reason that we celebrate Columbus Day? Didn't the powers that be decide that Columbus didn't discover America? If that is the case, then why do we celbrate... I mean, doesn't that make him just another explorer... shouldn't we have Lewis & Clark day then? So... I know some of ya'll are teachers... what gives?

--jessica

Our trip!

Can I just say how great it is to go on a trip without the kids? Oh my goodness... we had a blast! We ended up going to the comedy club I mentioned before... it was an improv club... and it was hilarious. Saturday we did a bit of shopping and then we headed back downtown. We ran into some friends that we hadn't seen in years... and they had extra tickets to go see Wynonna Judd at the Ft. Worth Symphony. So... we went... and it was awesome. I'm not big on orchestras, but Wynonna's got some pipes on her! After the symphony, we went to Pete's dueling Piano Bar! It was loud and smokey and they played songs from every genre and it was AWESOME! My kind of place. They even played Baby Got Back... on the piano! ha ha... Robert enjoyed it too... and only complained about being left deaf a couple of times... which is an improvement for him! ha ha

Anyway, we enjoyed each other and I think it was a great move for our marriage! I would have to say that I was a bit irritated when we walked into the hotel room and realized that the sheets and comforter were white--so much for the glow in the dark glitter paint! Ha ha....

--jessica

Weekend was great... stomach bug I've had today... not so great! EWWWWWWWW!!!!!

Weekend Plans

Can I just say how giddy I am with excitement right now? Robert and I are leaving town in 4 hrs to go away without our children. We have been married for 10 years and have NEVER gone anywhere... too poor before we had kids... too poor after we had kids. I just bought tickets for some Improv club called "Four Day Weekend" and got info from my students about the best places to eat. We may do the Medievel Times thing tomorrow night, but we will just see! I am even being a good wife and going to Cabella's... I figure there is girly shopping in the area too... shhh don't tell. The only request Robert has made about the trip is that we find a Fredericks of Hollywood to go to... hmmm, wonder what his intentions are? Anyway, I hope you all have a good weekend! Talk to ya Monday!

--Jessica

Thoughtful reconsideration

On my way to church last night I started to feel a tinge of guilt over my venting on the blog. I would like to clarify that I do love my church... and part of my frustration was with my uncooperative family and the difficulties that come from having church on a Wednesday night.

My biggest issue with Wednesday service has more to do with what it isn't than what it is... and I have sat here and struggled with it. Most churches in today's age are very concerned with bringing in visitors... with bringing in membership... with bringing people to the Lord. This is done by having great choirs/praise teams, by having grand buildings, by having dynamic speakers, and by having services that attract people. Our Wednesday night service is none of those... it is in the fellowship hall... a room that has poor acoustics and no technology... our preacher is very nice, but not so dynamic... and the content for Wednesday's is a bit drab. None of these are meant to attract visitors. BUT... that is ok... and that is what I have realized today. Bro. Mike has called the people who are there on Wednesdays "the meat of the church" and he is right. We spend the first 30 min of our time together discussing prayer requests within our church family and prayer requests within our community. We discuss up and coming activities and we ask for the Lord's guidance in those. These things are all very important within a church... and while they may not be entertaining... and they may not be comfortable to sit through... they are necessary... and I think we forget that.

As for the many suggestions... I do appreciate them... there are no Bible studies on Wednesday night because the preacher wants us to attend prayer meeting... not sure it works... but I understand it. As for praying for God to talk to me... to touch me in some way... I do... everytime I turn on the radio, everytime I walk through the church doors, everytime I open my BIble, I pray for God to take my life and make me what I know He wants me to be. I pray for his word to touch my life and I pray for the knowledge that only He can give. I pray for patience with my children and I pray for the ability to focus even when the message isn't keeping my attention... I know that my Lord can do all of those things... and that is why I get sooooo frustrated when I don't get anything out of the service... because I am most definitely asking for it.

Anyway, this is probably more than you wanted to read so I guess I will sign off now...
--jessica

My life...

I HATE WEDNESDAYS! There, I said it! Do you feel my pain?
My kids are tired from a day of school... I am tired from a day of work... we have to come home, get cleaned up, and drive the 20 min to the church. Church lasts 1 hr on wednesday nights, at which point my husband comes and picks the children up, so he can take them home and fight with them about going to bed. I have choir practice, so I usually roll in about 9:30pm.
I know that I should be feeling all excited about the opportunity to worship/serve my Lord... but I'm not feeling it. Our church has "Prayer meeting" on wednesday nights for the adults... can I just say how very, very boring prayer meeting is? By the time we are done with the prayer meeting part and the preacher does his little speell I am done for... It is all I can do to sit through it. I get that church shouldn't be all about me... that I should be willing to serve... and it won't be all fun and games... BUT come on! I have not actually gone to prayer meeting in at least a month, because I physically cannot handle it. By the time I walk out of the fellowship hall my head hurts so bad I want to vomit. My solution to this problem has been to drop my children off at G.A.'s and either go run and errand until choir practice or to read my book for the lit class I am taking. I hate that I am not being fed on wednesday nights... I hate that I have such feelings of disgust about the entire process.

Ok... I'm done venting now... sorry if I offended anyone (not that anyone reads my blog anymore according to site meter)... just had to get it out!
--jessica

I need a little humor...

So... life is stressing me out so I think I need a bit of humor.. here goes... are you ready?

How do you make 5 pounds of fat interesting?????



Did you guess yet????



Put a nipple on it!

My friends livened this one up for me... they added saggy to it! Ain't that the truth!


Here's the other joke...

What did the ghost say to the bee?


Did you guess yet?

Boobee! Get it... booby! Ha ha... I know simple minds simple pleasures... but what can I say...

Ya'll got anymore for me???
--jessica

Alyssa Grace

Meet my niece... Alyssa Grace. In Alyssa's short time on earth (she was born yesterday about 2pm) she has been diagnosed with a cleft soft palate, a heart murmur, a kidney disorder, and her left eye did not develop.

Alyssa's parents, Ashley and Matt (my little brother), started dating about a year and a half ago... which means that Ashley got pregnant 9 mo into the relationship. They are not married and this is my brother's third child by the third woman. Ashley has a 4 yr old son from another relationship, as well.

As I held this prescious gift from God my heart ached... how in the world are Matt and Ashley going to be able to handle what the future holds if they can't even commit to each other... and on top of that... how are they going to handle what the future holds without a relationship with God?

So... keep my family in your prayers as we work through these times with baby Alyssa....
--jessica

How her brain works...

Yesterday afternoon I left my hubby with the kids and went out with a friend to celebrate her birthday. I called to check on things on the way home... Robert was watching SleepyHollow.. you know the one with Johnny Depp... the one that no child should watch.... so I ask "are the kids in there" his response... "no their fine." Hmmmm... at 1:00 this morning Kali comes crawling into bed with us... "Daddy's scary movie gave me nitemares"... huh? Anyway, so no more scary movies Daddy... got it? At about 3 I kicked her wiggly bottom out of my bed and randomly, as she was leaving my room, she says "I think my new name is Lollypop". I'm a bit concerned that might be her future stripper name....

Anyway, this morning while we were getting our shoes on Kali says "Remember my name is lollipop..." and then "I learned how to french kiss on the playground".... HUH????? She explained to her father and I exactly how to do it. I then explained to her that people have germs in their mouths and therefore we do not stick our tongues in other people's mouth.... AUGH! One of my students suggested I tell her that is how you get pregnant!

Gotta love kids!--jessica

Oh My Goodness....

Who knew that when you grew up and got a real job you would have absolutely nooooo time for the things you enjoy. I have not read a blog in a least a week... and as you know I haven't posted in 2. I miss you guys and I miss hearing about your lives. I will try to catch you up with the things that have been going on....

Kali has gotten in trouble on the bus about 3 out of 5 days for the last two weeks. So.... after much stressing and praying... I have found a high schooler whose mom works at CJC and that goes to Clyde and drives to Abilene everyday... so... she is going to pick my angels up at school and bring them to me at work. Yippee! I think... I can foresee many difficulties, but at least this way they are with me when I leave work and not riding a bus for over an hour. Now... what to do about snacks!

Because of the bus situation and the amount of driving that I am doing daily, we have been trying to figure out how to move back to town... anyone want to buy a trailer on 19 acres? Maybe someone will happen by and write me a check! ha ha... Another factor in this desire to move comes from a discussion that I had with my 8 yr old this last week. She asked me why her friends thought only black people could listen to hip hop music... that white people should listen to Christian or Country music. My response... huh?! What?! Are there really people out there who think like this? I am amazed. Here is my predicament... do I teach her to stand up for her beliefs? Or do I teach her that sometimes we keep our mouths shut if our response is going to be taken not so well? I have always been bothered by the lack of diversity in her school... but come on! Any ideas? I did tell her that as Christians we probably shouldn't listen to some of the hip hop music... but by no means was our ethnicity involved! AUGH......

Ok... I think that is all the news... at least all that I can remember... I did buy a palm pilot and my organization ability has been much better. Now... if I can only figure out how to check my email with it like it says I can!

Hope all is well with ya'll... I have a lot of reading to do! Jessica

Menu...

Ok... this is my second week on the job... and the second week in a row that my family has not had a single vegetable while under my watch. I really think someone ought to call CPS... Look at the things we have eaten this week for dinner...

Monday: Ate at TaMollys (tacos and burritos for the kids...)
Tuesday: Ramon Noodles (ewww... I ate oatmeal)
Wednesday: Pancakes (no meat, no veggies, just flour and water)
Thursday: Sausage hotdogs (sausage on a bun with potato chips)

What in the world? I am soooo tired by the time I get home I do not have the energy to think about food much less cook. We bought stuff that we could throw in the crock pot when we went to the grocery story... but someone forgot to tell me how difficult it would be to actually throw it into the crock pot before walking out the door at 7am.

How in the world do ya'll do it? How do you cook nutritious, delicious meals that the entire family will eat?

--jessica

Bookish Meme...

Ok... flip flop mamma tagged me... this one is a weird one...

Grab the book closest to you
Open to page 123
Scroll down to the 5th sentence
Post the text of next 3 sentences on your blog
Name of the book and the author
Tag 3 people

Goodness is active. As we learned in the preceding chaper, kindness means planning to do something good for others. And now goodness moves into total action. God in us and His presence with us produces His goodness in us.

A Woman's Walk With God: Growing in the Fruit of the Spirit Elizabeth George

Tag... your it... Holly, Liz, Roxanne....

And by the way... why are they called meme's? Anyone got an answer for that?

--jessica

AIn't life fuN!!!!!

What a week it has been! Thanks for all of the advice about ways to keep my memory functioning... I have started to use my outlook and will get a pda to synchronize and carry around with me... and I will be using billpay from the bank to help out as well. Maybe all of this will help... it better!

This week has been full of happenings that I haven't had a chance to share with ya'll yet... so here goes!

Monday I went to a free lunch at school... again SALAD... why do they powers that be think that every adult likes to eat salad? There are some 30 yr olds who barely eat green beans much less salad... I am thinking that I am going to have to grow to love salads if I want free food! I should note that when they say free what they really mean is that they are going to feed you while you sit and listen to the many different things they want you to do, be involved in, or give to.

On Wednesday night, I was cleaning out Robert's truck and the puppy went between my legs and (I thought) under the truck. I closed the door and went inside... no big deal. Thursday morning Robert went outside to take the girls to the bus and all of a sudden I heard "JESSSICAAAA" in a not very nice tone! I ran as quickly as my 5 inch adorable yet not functional wedge shoes would take me to the back door and guess what I saw. The puppy had not gone under the truck... instead she had jumped into the truck. She did look awfully cute standing on the dash, tongue out, wagging her tail. She did piddle on the dash and on one of my text books... but not in the seat or on anything important!

Last night I went to the mall to see a movie with a friend. We saw You, Me, and Dupree... which was very difficult to watch knowing that Kate Hudson had left her husband for Owen Wilson... or something like that! It was funny... and yet very stupid... Before the movie I sat outside waiting for my friend to show up... as I waited there were at least 30 kids dropped off who had to be 6th grade and below... WHAT IN THE WORLD? Last year, a police officer was assaulted by a mob of teenage girls... you would think the mall would make some rules about an age limit to be unsupervised at the mall! After the movie, my friend and I were standing outside talking while she smoked her cigarette and these kids walked by complaining very loudly about the smoke... mind you we were standing in front of my truck... no where near the isle and not in anyone's space. After that the kids walked over to Windy's black trans am and started touching and looking in the windows. Windy hit her key fob button to make the lights come on... the kids realized who did it and started talking smack. What in the world? Windy didn't say anything about her car, she just hit the button to make them realize they were being watched... when did it become ok for kids to behave in such a way? We jokingly laughed about how we must be too old to go to the mall on a weekend but come on... why can't parents just be responsible for their kids?

OK... I think I have exhausted my happenings for the week... I hope all is well for everyone... I am going to try and catch up on my reading today!!!!

--jessica
(I tried to download pics of my shoes and the puppy but blogger is smokin' crack agaiN!)

Scheduling!

I have found that another part of this whole grown-up thing that I am going to reluctantly conform to is scheduling and using a day planner. In the last three days I have forgotten two appointments as well as several other things that I need to do... like pay the phone bill so it didn't get disconnected... called my house yesterday to hear... do do doooo we're sorry this number... etc. etc.

The only solution that I can come up with is that I should use a day planner or something of the sort to keep myself organized. Here is the problem.... I rarely carry my purse with me so how am I supposed to write stuff down or look at it even if it isn't with me. My fried Holly leaves it on her counter at home and looks at it everyday. I guess I could leave it on my desk.. but again I can't carry my desk around with me. I am pretty sure that if I had one of those trendy pda phones my life would be a bit more organized... or would it? I would probably just leave it at home or in the pocket of the pants I wore the day before!

Anyone have some amazing way for me to make my memory actually work?

--jessica

WOW!

When I woke up this morning the first thing I did was look at my blog! Ain't she cute? A few weeks ago one of my chat buddies redid her blog so.... I asked if I could have her old template. She had a bit of work to do... and being that I am technologically deficient I think I added to her work. Anyway, she did an AWESOME job and I love it! Now, if I can only figure out how to link people I will be good! ha ha

If you like my new look give a shout out to looneybin4sure . She is thinking about going to school for this stuff... I think she would do great!!!!!

On a side note, can I just say that being an adult is highly overrated? Getting up at 6am to be at work by 7:30 and then not getting home until 5... who's idea was that? What person or intity decided that the work day had to start so dang early? Will I ever get used to this? And, when are you supposed to do laundry if you aren't ever home? Questions, Questions?

--jessica

What in the World?

You all remember my little red car, right? And you remember my sweet black dog and her puppies, right? Well, this morning after Robert left for work, he called me to tell me to look out the window. Can you guess what I saw? Yep, my stupid dogs were sitting on top of my car. I forcefully removed them from my car... but when I got ready to leave about 30 min later Boots (momma dog) was again perched on top again..

A few days ago, I mentioned to Robert that I was noticing some weird scratches on my car... I think I might know where they are coming from. We have considered putting it up for sale... but that can't be done until September. So... any suggestions of how to solve this problem? My hubby has some solutions, but they aren't very nice, so I need your help!

--jessica

LIfe's Challenges

Ok... I quit... Can I do that? Can I just say that if anything else that costs money or time happens my head will explode? In the last few weeks we have had our air conditioning unit go out... to the toon of 2100$, my slave pump on my camaro go out... to the toon of 45$, the kids started school and needed school clothes... afraid to admit how much that cost, lunch money... oh my goodness... dentist appts... can you say 7 cavities for the 8 yr old.... Anyway, we are now officially broke and have about 3 weeks until I have any money (other than Robert's paychecks) coming in. I know that the Lord is good... and I am impressed that we have actually had the money to take care of the things that have happened... but come on.... I am tired of this!

On a lighter note... We went to the drive-in last night and saw Barnyard: The Original Party Animals and The Ant Bully. Ant Bully was ok... if I had boys they probably would've loved it... but my girls slept through it. Barnyard, on the other hand, was hilarious. My hubby was concerned that the bulls and cows were all pictured with utters... Bulls do not have utters, but other than that it was great! At one point a cow is in labor and the pig says things like "Wow... I bet that hurts" and "What if it gets stuck?"... you could hear the laughter from the cars around us... it made me laugh.... As I type this I am struck with the idea that it might not have been that funny... it really could've been that fact that it was midnight and I was tired! Anyway, go see for yourself and let me know!

--jessica

Show Me Yours

Since I'm always one to play things like this here goes... O Mama Mia has a new challenge... it is to show our table... or the places that we eat... so here goes.

This is where we actually eat most of our meals... in front of the TV in fact... I know, I know, research shows... but what can I say... I'm a sucker! My living room is never actually this clean... I stayed up last night getting it done because I know that I am going to have to stay on top of things now that I am working!

This is the bar where I try to make the girls eat.... when it is cleaned off.... which actually happens more often than not! Look at the ugly bar stools that I bought with the intentions of repainting and recovering... a year ago... still not done!

And this is the dining room table that belong to my husband's great grandma's table... It is a little short so hubby doesn't actually like to eat at it... says it hurts his legs... It has become a hanging place for the kids school clothes... they put them there the night before and then they know where there clothes are when they get up at the butt-crack of dawn!

So... I've shown you mine... let's see yours... come on... play along!

--jessica

First Day of School!

Look at my girls! Today was the first day of school! Kali started kindergarten... Megan started third grade! I have never seen soooo many crying moms in all my life. I mean come on... it's school... they come home in 8 hrs or less... why the tears? I had no tears... no sadness... only excitement about what the year was going to bring... and maybe a little dread about how Kali was going to handle all the rules and regulations of kindergarten. I called Robert when I left the school to check if I was a bad mom... I mean if soooo many moms were crying maybe I am insensitive or something... he assured me that it was ok to be ready for them to go back to school!

I did see the twins today... apparently CPS was called but conveniently every time they showed up the family was gone from the house. Hopefully they will show up now that school has started... especially since the girls are expected at school and CPS can see them there. I was relieved to see that the girls seemed to be fine... but I am a bit concerned about the efficiency of CPS if in the past 2 weeks they couldn't manage to track down some 9 year old twins.

Anyway... I know that school doesn't start until tomorrow for many of you... hope your kids have a great day!

--jessica

My Friend

Just wanted to update you on my friend... she went back to the doctor today and although her numbers had increased, when they did the sonogram the sac was starting to separate and blood was pooling.. which means that a miscarriage is imminent.

I spoke with her this afternoon... she said that she and her husband prayed for a healthy baby... so she feels like this is God's will and she is ok.... she is still crying for her loss... but at peace.

Thanks for the prayers and kind words...

--jessica

Praying for a Miracle

Ok ladies... start the prayers!! I have a friend, whom I love, who found out that she might've miscarried. I say might've because there is a chance that because of her tilted uterus the sonogram is wrong. So I am asking each of you to start praying...

Her sonogram was last Thursday... and they did bloodwork on that day and again on Monday... her numbers went up, which could be hopeful... but she has had almost a week of not knowing... a week of wondering and praying... and hoping while guarding her heart. She goes in for more blood work on Thursday and her prayer is that she will know something... she would like for her numbers to sky rocket and all would be well... but she is afraid to be hopeful.

So... I am asking each of you to pray. I am praying for a miracle for my dear friend... I want to be able to rejoice with her on Thursday afternoon...

--jessica

Runaways...

About a week ago... the morning after we got back from Six Flags, in fact... I was abruptly awoken by knocking on my door... I thought it was one of my kids at my bedroom door, but when I looked no one was there. I was exhausted after the day at Six Flags... and it took me a bit to figure out the pounding was coming from an outside door. I went to the back door... no one there... the pounding started again, obviously at the front door. At this point I was a bit ticked, because I wanted to be asleep. I yelled "hello" and heard giggles coming from the front yard.

Again... still extremely tired and getting grumpier by the second... my first thought was "that better not be my girls"... I quickly realized that the giggling was coming from the twins who live up the road... about a mile away from our house. Did I mention that it was 2:45 in the morning? You read it right... 2:45 AM... I asked what they needed and their response "We were wondering if you would let us sleep in your floor"... I was still not completely clear headed at this point... all I could say was "huh?" I let them in... asked a few questions about what the girls... who are all of 9 yrs old... are doing out of their house... and what about their parents.... and then I went to wake up Robert... this was definitely not something I could handle on my own.

Well, apparently the girls had decided that they needed to run away from home and that my home was a great place to run to. They had opened their window and climbed out without their parents hearing and walked to our house. Did I mention that there was no moon on this night? and that we live in the country? Where there are coyotes, bobcats, rattlesnakes.... etc? and we live a MILE from their home?

When Robert got up, he decided that we should call the sheriff who lives up the road... Robert didn't mention any names but the sheriff knew exactly who he was calling about... he said something about them doing this a couple of times before. Anyway, the sheriff showed up, not very happy about being awoken at 3am... and took the girls home. He said he was going to call the authorities (what was he?) and have it taken care of. So... if this has happened before why haven't the authorities been called before?

We haven't heard anything from the sheriff or the parents of the girls... and I am concerned... do I call and check on things? or do I wait for CPS to show up on my door to ask about it? Robert said he would see the sheriff this week and could ask what happened. Guess that will have to do....

--jessica

Blog makeover

I have a problem... I have blog envy... everywhere I look people have cool blogs with links and blogrolls and fun pictures... what do I have? I have dots.... dots that I am SICK of. So... if anyone feels sorry for me and would like to make my blog all cool lookin' please let me know!

--jessica

Emotional Breakdown

My children love the cartoon Lilo & Stitch... always have... but apparently they have an unnatural attachment to the little blue creature...

The kids were sitting in the playroom watching "Lilo and Stitch 2: Stitch has a Glitch" and all of a sudden I hear sobs coming from both children... when I say sobs I mean heartwrenching my world is coming to an end sobs... Robert and I both started asking what was up... can anyone guess what it was??? Come on, guess!!! Well apparently Stitch dies in the movie (sorry if I ruined the storyline for ya)... but he comes back. The girls had only gotten to the stitch died part and were very upset over it.

What does it mean when your children cry over a dead cartoon character?

--jessica

Life's great questions?

Summer has exactly 11 days left... or at least it does for my kids, who start school in exactly 11 days. Where did the time go? I feel like the last 10 weeks has just flown by.

Sorry it has been a while since I posted... it seems that since finding out I had a job, life has been even more hectic... lots of meetings and a day trip to six flags to celebrate. That celebration made me wonder what I was thinking! hA HA

There is a couple at church whom I have had a difficult time relating too... they are very judgmental and legalistic... and I never know exactly what to say in response to some of their ideas (oh, and they are the facilitators of my class). In class on Sunday, a discussion occurred about drinking and going to clubs... as the couple made clear their views I sat quietly... not wanting to say anything, because I was afraid that it would become word vomit... for those not sure what I mean by that... it is when you start to speak and it just keeps coming... you cannot make it stop.
Anyway, there is a group of us... hubby and I included... who go out to a local dance hall/bar/club about once every other month for an evening of dancing. We do drink a couple... and we dance to all the music... but I have a difficult time finding error in our ways... although, this couple must have spent lots of time coming up with all the ways we are wrong. We are not there for the meat market... no one drinks excessively... so... I'm having a hard time with this idea that we are doing something awful.
I understand how people can look at clubs and not want to go... they are loud, smoky, and tend to be "meat markets"... but I do not see how going with my husband to dance for 3 hrs could be considered evil or wrong.
Now, I am not trying saying that I have never been in sin at the club... I have for a long time gone without my husband for an evening of dancing and drinking with friends... I have danced with people that I shouldn't have and I have probably danced in ways I should not have. But... that is not the argument here... I have seen the error in my ways... I have straightened up... I am not longer binge drinking and I only go out with my hubby... so how can what we do now be sooooo very wrong?
I know that I will probably never change their opinion... but I would like to know your opinions on the matter....

--jessica

Praise the Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A couple of posts ago I mentioned that there was a job possibility at MCM and I had interviews set up. I have now gone through the interviews and I officially have the job. Can you see my happy dance? This is such a blessing and it couldn't have happened without the Lord's intervention.

I have taught adjunct for 2 yrs now... this job means that I receive a real salary and instead of the 16 classes a year I have taught at 3 different school as an adjunct I will teach only 8 as a full-time employee. So not only do I get a huge raise... I get to work a heck of a lot less. The other benefit is that I will be driving tons less... I will go to MCM at 8am and stay there until 3pm... no more driving between 3 schools... any driving during the day now will be purely pleasure (can you say shopping?).

When I got home from receiving the great news about the job I walked in an realized that the air conditioner in my home wasn't working. Instead of getting all bummed out I prayed about it and call the air conditioner guy. We now have a new unit... and the guy was so nice he is letting us pay it out over two months... and since he is our neighbor and loves us he did it all for free... meaning he didn't charge labor.

So... needless to say I am singing songs of praise right now... isn't the Lord great?

--jessica

Tag your it!

I have been tagged by FlipFlopMamma... so here goes.

INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.

1)In Our House
2)Rose DesRochers
3)So a Blonde Walks Into a Blog
4) flipflop mamma
5) rebelliouschild

Next select five people to tag:
1) Holly
2) Sarah
3) Denise
4) Tammy
5) Anne


What were you doing 10 years ago?
Robert and I were living in Laramie, Wy, so that he could go to school at Wyoming Tech.... I worked at Petro Truck Stop as a cashier.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
I was teaching Public Speaking at CJC and at the prison for WTC. We had just started going to the church that we are members of now.

Five snacks you enjoy:
1) Beef Jerky
2) Carrot Cake Cheesecake (not sure that is a snack... I've been known to eat it for a meal)
3) any kind of cereal
4) Chocolate anything
5) Carmal Corn

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
1) Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice... forgive me it was the first song that popped in my head
2) I Can Only Imagine by Mercy Me
3) Buttons by PussyCat Dolls
4) Jesus Take the Wheel by Carrie Underwood
5) Sara Beth by Rascal Flatts

and I should say that I would venture to say that I know the words to most songs since I hear it once and it is stuck with me for an eternity.

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1) Tithe
2) Pay off all of my debt (mostly student loans)
3) Help my friends pay off their debt
4) Travel to all the countries that I will never see
5) Go shopping!!!!!!!!!!

Five bad habits:
1) Procrastinating
2) Being lazy
3) Throwing my dirty clothes on the floor (guess that goes with lazy...)
4) Chewing my fingernails
5) Listening to ghetto music

Five things you like doing:
1) Laying out at the pool
2) Going to the drive in
3) Reading
4) BLOGGING!
5) Singing

Five things you would never wear again:
1) Stirrup pants
2) Leg warmers
3) Parachute pants
4) high-top tennis shoes
5) jeans with the hem tight rolled!
I will confess that this list is the same as FlipFlop Mamma but her's were soooo good that I couldn't change them.

Five favorite toys:
1) My laptop with which I read blogs on
2) My little red camaro
3) My papertrimmer
4) My corner rounder
5) and any other scrapping tool

Ok! Ya'll have fun and I hope this helped you learn more about me!

What does the future hold?

Over the last couple of weeks I have known that there is a HUGE possibility that I will have a job at McMurry this semester... but not being one to want to jinx things I have kept it to myself. Now that I have three appointments scheduled at McMurry next week I am thinking it is ok to share the possibility....

A couple of weeks ago I found out that Kris and Matt were moving to Amarillo... which left two open positions... Joel (the head of the Comm dept.) called me and said "I've been told to bring you on... but you still have to go through the interview process"... WHAT?!! So, I have a job or I don't? People have been out of town and there has been no rush on their part... I think because in their heads I have the job.. but in my head I still have no job. I have, however, felt a great amount of peace about this process. I am not worried about it... it will happen if it supposed to... and that is a new thing for me.... to be able to not worry about it.

I have three appointments set up for next week: Monday at 10, Tuesday at 10, and Wednesday at 10. I find it interesting that the first appointment is set up with the benefits guy and that everyone is calling them appointments and not interviews.

At the same time that these things were happening, I was trying to decide whether or not to finish the M.A. in English that I am one class and comps away from finishing. I opened the mail and there was a scholarship to ACU for half of the one class I still need to take.

This summer has been an interesting one for me. I have learned much about patience and even more about faith... but it took hitting rock bottom for me to learn those lessons... and I know I still have a long way to go. So... keep me in your prayers as I go through these "appointments."

--jessica

What in the World?

For those of you not from Abilene let me give you a bit of background before I completely vent about an issue.... Abilene is not known for it's ability to bring new businesses into town... something about the 'city fathers' not wanting growth... with that said here goes the vent...

When I went to Arkansas a couple of weeks ago I found a store that I absolutely loved... CATO fashions. I have heard that there is one in Lubbock and the metroplex...but no Abilene. The rumor is that we might be getting one... but there are also rumors that we will have a Kohl's and an Applebee's too. As I was driving home from teaching at the prison tonight, I passed through Sweetwater... which is a town with all of 11,000 people (according to city-data.com). As I was driving past their new Super Wal-Mart, I noticed a new shopping center... and low and behold there in the new shopping center is a CATO..... WHAT IN THE WORLD? Sweetwater... a town that is about 1/10th the size of Abilene gets the cool store... what is happening here?

I know that there are plenty of shopping centers around, so maybe our day is coming... and it isn't like Sweetwater is hours away... I can get there in 35 min on a hwy patrol free day... but come on, how in the world did that city rate and we don't? I have one more week at the prison... guess I am leaving early next week and going on a shopping spree before class!

--jessica

Summer Memories

Well, I am officially done with Summer I and have moved on to Summer II. I really thought that once Summer I was over I would have more time for this blogging hobby of mine... unfortunately, my children have had other ideas.

We have been to the pool all but one day this week... my skin is nice and golden... but the chlorine is doing awful things to my hair. Yesterday, at the pool, Kali decided she was a swimmer. She started with swimming from one person to another... by the end of the day she was jumping off the diving board and swimming to the ladder. She was great! Her only issue is that her hair gets in her face and she has to stop and swim with one hand to swipe her hair off of her face. Guess we will be going for the ponytail at the pool from now on!

Last week, Megan went to GA camp... for those who don't know what GA's is... it stands for Girls in Action and it is a class that teaches the girls about missions and missionaries... they do service projects and all kinds of good stuff. I did it as a child, my mom did it as a child, and I am pretty sure even my grandma did it as a child. GA's was the best part of going to church as a kid... and it is why I wanted to return to a baptist church (among other reasons)! Anyway, Megan was gone from Wednesday until Sunday... and she had a blast. Every evening at camp they had praise and worship time... the band was "Two Empty Chairs" and I have been informed that one of the guys was the cutest thing ever! Funny how an 8 yr old can determine that. I was completely worried about how she would do... I mean, this was her first time away from home like this... she did so well she didn't even call home! I was especially worried about what my very picky eater would eat... she came home from camp saying "camp food is great"... so maybe I need to get some recipes from the kitchen.

I do think things will settle down over the next couple of days... so I hope to catch up on all of the posts I've missed!

--jessica

Peek Inside Me Weekly

Sorry I haven't played the last couple of weeks... life has been more than stressful. But... this week I couldn't resist. The challenge for the week from CheerioButt is to tell your most embarrassing moment...

This assignment is a bit hard for me... only because there are sooooo many moments that have embarrassed me... but because there are soooo many I can't pick a most embarrassing. I tend to just get over them as quickly as they happen. So... I will list a few of them and you can pick.

1. I was walking down the hallway at Beltway Baptist Church and I just fell... nothing in the floor... no excuses... just fell flat on my face in front of a group of teenagers. They laughed... and then realized they were laughing, stopped and asked if I was ok. I told them that only my pride was hurt and moved on.
2. Started my period in the middle of one of my classes... realized it after it had gotten all over the back of my skirt. Luckily had a jacket to tie around my waist... but still had to figure out a way to tie without any students seeing. EWWWW
3. Hubbie just remembered this one... I was really sick with my first child... I had a gallstone with no gallbladder which led to acute pancreatitis and emergency surgery. With that said, I threw up a lot... and I could never predict when it might happen. One time, when we were in Wal-Mart, I got sick in the bathroom and being that I puked with such force... peed in my pants... I had to walk from the restroom in the back of the store all the way to the front door. I was quite embarrassed because it was more than obvious that I had peed on myself. I think this might be one of hubbie's most embarrassing moments as well. :)

Hope you enjoy this peek... let CheerioButt know if you wanna play too.

--jessica

Green Hair

My youngest daughter, Kali, has blonde hair... some of it is so blonde it is white. That said, today's activity during His Kids was a trip to a local pool. The pool has been having some chlorine probs so it was cloudy and green. The white part of Kali's hair sucked in the color and she now has streaks of green in her hair. She thinks it is funny.... I have washed it and conditioned it with the good stuff... still green. Any suggestions?

--jessica

Oops! I didn't mean to...

Yesterday, I bought the girls gum... each their own pack... aren't I just the sweetest mom ever? HA To show her appreciation, Kali decided to hold her chewed up gum over her sister's hair and say something like "if you don't play with me, I will put this gum in your hair"... of course big sister wasn't going to be coerced into playing. As Kali was trying to put the gum back in her mouth she dropped it... in her sister's hair. In her mind it was a complete accident... in Daddy's mind she shouldn't have had the gum out of her mouth in the first place. She lost her extra large pack of Juicy Fruit as Daddy took it to work to share with the guys. There were no tears when Daddy took the gum... but when I came to pick her up and she realized the gum really wasn't coming with us the waterworks started. Robert sat in his truck laughing, while I listened to very loud cries. Thanks a lot babe!

--jessica

We have a thief....

Last night, as I was preparing for our trip, I had to make a run to Wal-Mart... and of course Robert and the kids were with me. Well, as we were checking out Kali brought me a push pop... and was quickly told no way hose'. Guess she didn't like that answer... she went around the corner and quickly started to open it... Robert caught her before she could get it open... but her motive was clear. He took her to the truck and doled out her swat... and she went to bed when we got home.

Before bed last night, I asked her if I needed to call her Grammy, who is a probation officer, or her Grandpa, who is an officer at the county jail... I saw her little face crumble. I asked her if she new what it was called when someone took stuff that wasn't theirs... and what the consequences were... and she began to cry tears... real ones... not fake ones like I normally get. I feel kind of bad... like I overreacted over a stinkin' push pop... but what happens if we don't make a big deal about it.

Any advice on this one?

--jessica

Going on a trip....

Remember my friend Anne? Well, she turns 30 tomorrow so there are a few of us hopping in a van tomorrow and driving the 8 hrs to celebrate with her. So... I won't be posting this weekend... instead I will be shopping. Hope everyone has a good weekend and I bet I come back with some great stories after riding in a van for 8 hrs each way with 6 women. HA HA

--jessica

Stupid

My mom watches my kids on Monday nights, while I teach at the prison... tonight my brother was hanging out there as well. Apparently my oldest, Megan, was acting a bit goofy.... she asked Uncle David if she was dumb and of course he said no... so she said 'am I stupid'... always the kind uncle... he said he had to look it up in order to give a correct assessment of her stupidity.

Well... apparently one definition of the word stupid is 'acting silly or foolish'... so indeed, she was behaving stupidly. AUGH! Do you know how hard I have worked to eradicate words like: stupid, dumb, hate, can't, etc? So now, because of my loving brother, Megan has a new definition of the word and a correct way to use it. I can't wait until he has kids of his own!

--jessica

New blog

I decided this morning that I needed a different place to discuss all the drama in my marriage... especially since I intended this blog to be a fun place.

It is here... go take a look... I thought the black symbolized my mood at the moment. I do enjoy your advice and your comments... this new blog will allow me a place to express myself in a different way...

--jessica

Horoscope

WARNING: THIS POST IS EXTREMELY PERSONAL AND A BIT DEPRESSING, SO DON'T READ IT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW....

On my MSN homepage, I have it set up to read my horoscope... somedays the advice sounds like it is written just for me, other days I just laugh. Today's horoscope freaked me out a bit...

"Over the past few weeks you have been engaged in intense analysis of the motivations behind your relationships, dear Pisces. Today you will realize that it is essential for you to follow your own path through life, without heeding other people's advice at all. You actually had the answers inside of you all along. This isn't exactly sociable behavior; nevertheless it is what fits the bill best."

I've posted a couple of times about the difficulty of marriage and for the last 4 months, hubbie and I have been (or more honestly I have been) reevaluating our lives and our marriage. The big D word has been mentioned several times... and frankly, I am pretty sure that he feels like I am just one catastrophie away from bolting. It seems that every time I feel like maybe we can make this work, something happens to set us back. It is all very frustrating. But then, to read a horoscope that says exactly what has been on my mind is a bit freaky... not that I generally believe these suckers... and not that I am moving out of my house today... but it is still a little freaky.

I guess this is the part I reveal my deepest secrets for CheerioButt ... remember the "Peek inside me" challenge? Anyway, this week's challenge is to tell a secret... this secret goes with the stuff from above. Over the last few months people have said "remember what brought you together" and "go back to the beginning" in fact, I think almost everyone who knows of our drama has given this advice. Here's the deal (and my secret)... Robert and I grew up in Christian homes which preached 'no sex before marriage' and well, let's just say that although neither of us were each other's firsts we definetly made up for it in the year and a half we dated. Anyway, when he got ready to go off to Wy to go to school it was either break up or get married. We got married... here's the secret ... I'm pretty sure we got married to make right all the sex we had been having. So.... when people tell me to "go back to the beginning" I have a hard time not laughing... because the beginning was lots of fun, with no emotional connection, and lots of fighting... but definetly no love. We were 18 yrs old... we didn't have a clue what love was... so how can I go back there to draw on emotions to bring us back to good times?

You may be thinking "oh what a secret, everyone has sex" and after talking to my college students about HPV this week, I really do think everyone has sex... but the real issue here is not that we had sex... it is that on some level we really thought that by getting married we could "make right" all that we had done wrong. And, I guess that we thought that we would amazingly quit fighting and like each other if we got married. Oh how wrong we were...

Anyway, I'm all for advice... so if you have some wisdom to share... feel free.

--jessica

P.S. After a morning of thought I did figure out a different way to look at my horoscope... I have had several friends and fellow teachers tell me that it might be time for me to move on... I've even had good Christian women tell me that my marriage may not be fixable... but I am just stubborn enough to go against the flow and make things work.... Thanks for the support...

Can you hear it?

Do you hear it? What you might ask... Nothing, I answer. There is no fighting, no bickering, no yelling, no whining... there is only silence coming from my living room. Why, might you ask... Megan had a sleepover at a friend's house last night.... So, Kali is in the living room perched on the couch watching what she wants to watch on TV... Dora, Diego, Backyardigans, and her fave The Wonder Pets.

Last night, she and daddy played poker (nice... daddy taught the 5 yr old to play poker) and watched a movie. They even ate Taco Bueno for dinner and went to the nickel arcade. Both of which are places that Mommy refuses to go.

If we aren't careful Kali will be planning all kinds of sleepovers for Megan.

--jessica

I am....

I am a cuddler - HECK NO... give me my personal space please
I am a morning person - if I get to sleep until at least 7am and I've gottent to sleep allllllll night
I am a perfectionist - discouraged perfectionist
I am an only child -was until I was adopted... now I have two brothers
I am currently in my pajamas - true
I am addicted to my blogger-- yep
I am shy around people AT FIRST - not at all
I bite my nails - yes
I can be paranoid at times - yes
I currently regret something that I have said - everyday something comes out I regret
When I get mad I curse frequently - ha ha oh how true
I like someone - I like lots of people
I enjoy country music - true
I enjoy jazz music - not so much
I enjoy smoothies - yes... strawberry banana please
I enjoy talking on the phone - could talk for hours.... I have 1200 min on my cell, use them all each month
I have a lot to learn - heck yeah... don't we all
I have a pet - 4 cats, 6 dogs... (country living... and all the puppies not staying)
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal - yes
I have all my grandparents - nope... just my mom's parents
I have been told that I am smart - smartass maybe... jk
I get higher then C's in school - in everything except adv grammar
I have broken a bone - do toes count?
I have Caller I.D. on my phone - on all my phones
I have bathed/showered with someone - just hubbie... again I need my personal space...
I have changed a diaper - yep... glad those days are over
I have changed a lot over the past year - yeah
I have done something illegal - I'll never tell....
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair - true
I have had surgery - yep, gallbladder and tubal
I have killed another person - no...but if i did why would i put that on here?
I have had my hair cut within the last week - must get paid... so Shane will be doing it July 5th
I have had the cops called on me - not that I remember but high school is a bit foggy
I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn't - yep


I don't normally do these but this one made me laugh... so I guess I need to Tag someone else... Holly your it....

--jessica

Emergency Fund

There were several comments about what great stewards we are, because we have the emergency fund. Those comments made me feel like such a fraud... so I am going to reveal the truth about the emergency fund.

When we started the financial peace class I was not necessarily a willing party. I wanted to get out of debt, but I was pretty sure that if we couldn't pay the electric bill every month on time that there was noooooo way we were going to pay off any debt. I just couldn't see how we were going to scrounge up the extras to pay things off... and there was nooooo way I was getting rid of my cell phone or the cable.

Anyway, it took a bit of attitude adjustment on my part, but we put the money away when I got paid last summer. Here is the sad part... even then, I wasn't really a willing party... I gave the money to Robert and told him to put it in the bank... but I made it clear how unhappy I was about it... I mean, come on, I can think of plenty of other ways to spend $1000... which I have reminded him of on several occasions since the opening of the savings account.

So... thanks for the compliments... but I just thought I needed to confess that although the behavior was right my attitude definitely stank/stinks about the emergency fund.

--jessica

It keeps happening...

I really thought things happen in threes... and I thought my three had already happened. But, no... there has been more drama this week.

Yesterday, I ran out of gas... yeah, I know what the E stands for... but something is wrong with the gauge and I thought I could make it. I was close enough to CJC so I hitchhiked to school... you know, the teacher can't come in all sweaty from walking the block to school.

This morning Robert went out to start his truck and it wouldn't start. He called the shop and the guy told him to tap his gas tank with something and see if it started. If it did then it was probably the full pump. Any guesses as to how much $$$$$ a fuel pump is? I thought maybe $100 or $200... but no... $500. Luckily we did Financial Peace at church and Dave Ramsey pushes the emergency fund. So we have the money... but what happens when some other drama happens? I mean we are on a roll here.

Although I really do not feel like the universe if conspiring against me I do wonder why all of this happening. Oh well... at least I am still able to laugh at it all.

--jessica

Third day in a row....

Have you ever had one of those weeks... you know, the weeks where you had better laugh because if you don't you'll cry? Well, this is that week for me. On Monday, I was taking the kids to Robert, so I could drive to the prison for my weekly gig and some stupid woman pulls over into the turning lane in front of me, pulls into Lawrence Hall, and then immediately backs up. Not only did she NOT see me as she pulled over in front of me, she didn't see me when she threw it into reverse and backed into my little red car with her giant SUV. Here is the comical part, though, being a new standard driver there are some things I cannot do... I learned from this experience that I cannot turn, shift, and honk my horn at the same time. No damage, by the way... I was just late to the prison.

On Tuesday, my little red car started making a funny popping noise... nothing cooler than sitting at a red light in the camaro and the car is emitting a loud popping noise. I called Robert to let him know what was happening... his response "I'm not a mechanic." If his response wasn't bad enough, I ran home to get my swimsuit for a relaxing trip to the pool and the car died. I got it started and got it home. Robert came and checked it out... alternator frozen. $100 later... and only 20 min of his time the car was fixed... but still a pain in my butt.

Last but not least, we cannot forget today! Driving home from the pool this evening I see a truck with a cattle trailer on the back driving down the access road (frontage road for those not in Abilene)... 5 lanes over! Next this I know, the cattle trailer came unhitched and started its own journey across the five lanes of traffic, directly at the 5 of us on the road! WHAT?!! Luckily the 4 cars around me all saw what was about to happen and we were able to slow down. No accident... trailer landed in the bar ditch with quite a thud.

Anyway, needless to say life has had some interesting moments this week... and it's only Wednesday...I have always heard bad things come in threes... can I call the trailer #3 even though it missed me?

--jessica

Oh.... and can someone tell me why when I have such a deep post on my blog... look at yesterday's post... no one ever makes comments? Wait... one comment by email... one posted... so where has the love gone?

Randomness...

Tonight was prison night... One of the first signs that I see after walking in is a big read sign that reads "No hostages beyond this point" ... I asked the guard when I first started what exactly the sign meant and he let me know that I was expendable...

Each class brings about some conversation that has nothing to do with what I am supposed to lecture on (I have a hard time staying focused!). Tonight was no different, and we ventured several times. We discussed politics and who the next govenor should be... most of the guys like Kinky for no other reason than his name. We also discussed their pick for the next president... about half said Hilary... some said Kay Bailey-Hutchison... I found it interesting that no one suggested a man... I wonder if they know something I don't. The other tangent tonight was them giving me advice on how to be a better wife. This happens every semester when some student asks me what I cooked for dinner and I laugh... I did tell them I cooked a hamburger yesterday and was informed that is not cooking! It used to hurt my feelings that they thought I was a bad wife... then hubbie reminded me where I am and asked what kind of husbands they are.

This afternoon I was catching up on the many blogs I like to read... this blog has a question that I found very interesting. I even posted and then spent the day thinking about whether that really would be the day I picked. Her question is "if you could redo any day in your life, what day would it be? Why?" I just went to check what other people chose... and most bailed... saying they couldn't pick just one, or wondering how it would affect the rest of their lives. For those who are wondering I chose my wedding day... I do love my hubbie and my kids... but I just wish that we had waited a good 5 or 10 yrs before we took that leap. How much better of a parent would I be if I had waited...How much better of a wife would I be if I had been secure in myself before that walk? I also chose this day because we should've taken the money my mom offered and eloped... it probably would've been much more peaceful since no one seemed to be able to get along on our happy day. Anyway, what day would you redo if you could have a redo?

--jessica

Summer?

So... this is summer? I usually teach a couple of classes each summer session so that I can have a little money for the kids and I to play with. Because of some changes at CJC I ended up with 3 there and one at the prison... all during this first half of the summer. My kids don't seem to mind hanging out with the babysitter, but I am feeling a bit guilty about deserting them. I am killing myself trying to make sure we still make it to the pool and do the usual summer stuff and I still have to make time to prepare for each class. I keep telling myself that there are only 3 more weeks of this craziness and it will all be over... but I am beginning to wonder if I will make it. I haven't even had time to catch up on my favorite blogs and it is driving me a bit crazy.

The 'peek inside me' challenge for the week is to show you a pic of our feet... including our heals. I think that since I had a pedicure this week I won't participate... not to mention that I couldn't figure out how to take the pics with the detail of my cracked heals. EWWW! Anyway, contact Cheeriobutt and tell her you want to play.

Anyway, I hope that everyone is well... I miss reading your blogs and your comments. Only 3 more weeks of this and life will again be peaceful.

--jessica

The Prison

Last night was the first class for the Speech class I teach at the prison in Colorado City. The classes at the prison are usually my favorite... I think it has something to do with the fact that the guys have nothing better to do, so they actually do the reading I ask them to do!

Each semester brings me a great variety of characters and I have to remind myself that these guys are in there for a reason. Last night was no different...the guys range in age from 18-24... one of them turned 18 last week. I had one student who quickly informed me that he went to high school with me, and was sure we ran in the same circles. I find it quite comical that of the 5 semesters I have taught at the prison, there has only been one semester that there wasn't someone I went to school with. What does that tell you about my high school?

I stood at my classroom door last night (to hold it open as there was no door stop) and some of my past students came up to tell me hello. I had one guy tell me that I was the first teacher to treat him like a person. How sad is that? I have a hard time with some of my fellow teachers, because I truly feel that it isn't my job to be difficult or judgmental with these guys. Some of them are in there for crimes I have committed within my lifetime, who am I to treat them as less than human? I realize that the guards treat the men a certain way because they have to... there are rules to be followed and any breach could spell disaster... I mean we are at a prison. But in my classroom, they are my students... not robbers and drugies.

I was sitting here thinking about things I have learned while teaching at the prison that ya'll might appreciate... here is my list.

1. Prisoners have greater access to drugs than any free person might ( I had a headache and was told they could get me anything I needed....)
2. Don't leave any color pen on your desk... it won't be there when you turn back around... which leads me to three...(for those who don't know, the ink from the pens is what they use to give each other tattoos with their homemade tattoo guns)
3. Never turn your back on a classroom of prisoners... if you do they have a tendency to comment about your goods under their breathe...
4. When walking down the hall to leave the building... do NOT look to the right... the bathroom is that direction and there are no doors, stalls or anything... if you look that way you see what these boys are blessed with.... (no one shared with me this bit of information when I started, so of course I turned the corner... looked that way... and wow... I of course quickly looked away but I was still embarrassed.)
5. The guys have the ability to find out any bit of information they want to... so you might as well share. (Last night, one guy asked my first name and I just looked at him... another yelled 'Jessica it's in the WTC handbook'.... Wow! What a way to protect my identity!)

Anyway, I am exhausted... and my brain hurts from the 4 classes I am teaching right now... so I think it is off to bed for me! I am sure I will have plenty of stories about the prison over the next 9 weeks....hopefully only funny ones...

--jessica

Sunday Afternoon Fun

Robert and I were outside earlier trying to find the leak in the air bubble that sits on the top of the pool... never found it. I am pretty sure that this pool thing is highly overrated! Anyway, while we were working... or actually while he was working and I was sitting in the chair supervising... I heard a funny noise from behind me. Our kittens were playing in the ball return net on the bottom of the basketball net... and got their heads stuck... both of them. I ran over to the net and wrestled it off of their necks. What would make a kitten stick its head through a net and why did it fit on the way in and yet didn't come out so easily?

While we were outside the girls were supposed to be cleaning their disastrous playroom. Next thing I know the window pops open and Megan screams "Kali is cutting her hair"... Kali cut a good chuck out of the side of her hair. I don't get her... she tells me all the time how she wants to have hair down to her butt... so why does she keep cutting it? Is there some medical condition that makes kids cut their hair? It's as if when she is holding the scissors there is some magnetic pull to her hair. Needless to say she received some punishment and I told her that the next time it happened I would just cut her hair off..... now... what do I do if she actually cuts it again?

I am sitting on the couch dreading tomorrow... my friend called and wants to go to the gym for spin at 6AM... what an ungodly hour during the summer. Then I teach from 9-2 at CJC... teach at the prison from 6-9 with an hour drive on either side of that one! I just want to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head... calgon take me away... and we aren't even to Monday yet!

--jessica

Oh so sexy.....

Hubbie was sitting on the couch pestering me about needing some special time tonight....(you know what I mean) then I look up and see this. Makes ya wanna cuddle, huh?


He just looked over and told me how very wrong I was for posting this pic on my blog..... wahaaaaaaaaaaaaa.